A Craving For Chocolate Milkshakes
by Kasienda
Summary: After an encounter with a youma goes poorly, a recovering Mamoru wakes up with a splitting headache. He begins to doubt his sanity as he starts seeing things that aren't there, doodling in his notes, and experiencing the strangest cravings for pancakes and chocolate milkshakes! Usagi's presence makes it all make some kind of terrifying sense.
1. Cravings For Chocolate Milkshakes

**A/N:** My sister (AsuraSantosha) challenged me to write something silly, preferably with Usagi more on the ditzy side. I tossed in a ridiculous trope, but you'll have to tell me how "silly" my first attempt truly is…

It's not betaed because even though I now have a bunch of SM friends that would be totally willing to oblige, I'm way too excited to actually post something for the first time in forever to wait for that! So, please forgive typos and grammatical errors!

 **A Craving for Chocolate Milkshakes**

The blaring alarm sliced through his dreams like a punch to the gut, and the high school senior groaned. Mornings and Chiba Mamoru usually had a fantastic and healthy relationship, but today it felt like he had knives piercing through his skull.

He fumbled to turn off the blasted alarm clock, but succeeded in only pushing the irritating contraption over the edge of his nightstand. Unfortunately, the impact was not hard enough to end its life, as it kept screaming his wake-up call.

Kami-sama, he _hated_ mornings!

Well, _this_ morning anyway. He swung his legs over the edge, his sore and overused muscles protesting any request made of them. What he wouldn't give for a full week with his sleep uninterrupted by youma. And clearly, he and Sailor Moon had both suffered some kind of mental shock grenade that had his head pulsing worse than any hangover.

He spared a thought for his blond partner in crime, hoping she was faring better than him this awful morning. He retrieved and turned off the alarm clock before stumbling to the bathroom to pop a few aspirin into his mouth. With some coffee, he might even feel semi-human once again.

Though what he _really_ wanted was some American style pancakes! With enough syrup to drown in, it was like cake for breakfast. Best tradition ever! Perhaps he had been born in the wrong country.

Right, because an orphan anywhere would have been lavished with luxurious rich breakfasts every morning. He didn't even _like_ cake that much. A good bowl of multi-grain rice or natto was plenty sustenance in the morning.

He _really_ needed some coffee. He grabbed his bag, and reached his hand out to pet the silky black cat sitting primly in the doorway before he made the commute to school.

His hand froze in midair, and he blinked in confusion.

He didn't have a cat.

He blinked again and the mirage evaporated like smoke.

He groaned, with a palm to his face. If he was hallucinating, he probably needed an MRI. He glanced at his watch and cursed – he was running late. He'd worry about getting his head scanned after he had his coffee and made it through his first class.

He wove through the pedestrian traffic into the familiar haven of the Crown Arcade on autopilot. He slumped onto his usual stool, cradling his pounding head in his hands waiting to be noticed by whoever was working today, trying to block out the cacophony of overlapping synthetic music from the arcade consoles.

"Mamoru-kun!" familiar bright voice greeted a few moments later, far too chipper so early in the morning. He looked up and fell into the open emerald gaze of his closest friend, golden locks framing his friendly smile. Motoki looked _good_ today. Like Mamoru could eat him for breakfast good.

He banged his head on the bar's counter. He did _not_ just think that.

 _Calm down Mamoru – recognizing another's physical attractiveness does not make you gay._

 _Not that being gay would be a bad thing._

A certain blond heroine flooded his mind's eye, and he concluded quickly that he was definitely not gay.

 _Perhaps bisexual then?_

He shrugged off the thought. He could deal with the sexual identity crisis later – when his head wasn't threatening to explode, or perhaps after he had his head examined.

"Long night?" Motoki asked, placing the usual hazelnut blend on the counter in front of him.

"You have no idea," Mamoru groaned. He forced himself up and took a grateful sip at the steaming beverage. He smiled in satisfaction as the comforting bitter flavor surged onto his tongue.

If only he didn't have school. It was a boring waste of time anyway. He could stay here all day drinking coffee and ogling Motoki.

He gulped the rest of the beverage, barely noticing the scalding down the vulnerable tissue of his soft palette and throat, and bolted from the arcade.

Seriously, even if he was gay, Motoki was his best friend. He could _not_ go there!

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't see the blond whirlwind until she had barreled into him. Not that he ever saw her coming. She was just seemed to manifest into his path every morning like clockwork.

He blinked dumbly at her long creamy legs that spilled from her dark blue skirt across the unforgiving concrete, his pounding headache suddenly, completely forgotten.

 _Yup, definitely not gay. Bisexual? Possibly._

 _Kami-sama, was he staring at her legs?_

Her cheeks blazed red and she let out an undignified squeak. "My face is up here baka!"

This time the heat blazed across his own face. He was horrified to be caught staring. _Just be polite for once baka, please_ , his own brain begged. _It's not like she's klutzy on purpose._

"Right… Well, pleasure as always to crash into you Odango. I have to run. Hope you make it to school on time." He gave her a friendly wave, his head feeling clear and lucid for the first time all morning.

She blinked at him. "That's it?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "No parting advice to watch where I'm going?"

"When has _that_ ever helped?" he bantered back, hoping his grin softened his biting tone.

She harrumphed. "You're being weird baka… It's kind've nice. I guess I'll see you later," she said with a small smile.

And she dashed away like a tsunami chased her, leaving him staring after her in shock. Was that all it took to earn her smiles?

Once in class, Mamoru tried to focus on taking notes. But detailed explanations of integrating by parts could not hold his attention this day. He was distracted by the _weather_ , of all things, because it was a gorgeous day - the sun beamed through the windows on either side of the lecture hall revealing a crystal clear blue sky without a single cloud marring its beauty. It was the kind of day that called for a slow meandering walk through the park perhaps with some ice cream or a chocolate milkshake.

Kami-sama, a chocolate milkshake sounded wonderful. It would fix everything!

He shook his head, trying to clear it. These random food cravings were driving him insane. And it wasn't _normal_. He really needed to get his head scanned.

But that sounded like a lot of hassle, whereas, a craving for a chocolate milkshake was pretty simple to address. For the second time that day, Mamoru found himself in his favorite stool at the Crown Arcade, pouring over his nonsensical Calculus notes that seemed to be constantly interrupted by doodles of kittens and moons, and one random interjection of a simple algebra problem.

Before he could question his sanity for the millionth time that day, Usagi slammed into the stool beside him with all the subtlety of a charging rhinoceros.

"This has been the worst day!" she whined into his ear. "First, I was late!"

"Aren't you late everyday?" Mamoru interjected, trying to clear his head that seemed to suddenly spiral . The pounding headache he had woken up with flooded back to his temples making him groan into his hands. He frowned when she whimpered a second later, her head falling into her own hands.

 _I wonder if this is what a hangover feels like._

 _I assure you, it's worse than a hangover._

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"No," she said softly. "I have had this splitting headache all day. I know I'm always late, but today I was far later than usual, and got double detention. And now Rei is going to be steamed with me for being late to meet them."

Not to mention Luna would lecture her endlessly on living up to her responsibilities. She probably could have skipped the arcade, but Tsukino Usagi go without her daily milkshake and Mamoru bashing? Not a chance!

"You could have skipped the arcade," he suggested out loud.

 _Wait… Luna? Wasn't Luna a cat?_

 _If only…_

She turned to him with a bright smile. "And miss seeing your scowling face? Not a chance!" she exclaimed. "Motoki-oniisan!" she called, "I need a chocolate milkshake. It will fix everything!"

Hadn't he just been thinking that? Why had he been thinking _that_? Really it was an absurd premise.

"Coming right up Usagi-chan!" the blond part-timer acknowledged with a friendly wave.

"I think it will take more than a bit of ice cream and chocolate to fix what's wrong with your head," Mamoru commented dryly. Not to mention his own. He clearly needed an MRI.

"Mamoru-baka, what's an MRI?"

"It's stands for Magnetic Resonance Imaging," he explained automatically. "It an imaging technique…" he trailed off, searching for the terms she might understand.

"That's the one where they put you in a really strong spinning magnetic field and see which parts of your tissue or cells rotate or tilt in response?"

He blinked at her with surprise. "Uh… yeah. Exactly. How did you know that?"

"I _know_ things!" she cried indignantly. Her milkshake arrived in front of her, next to his usual cup of coffee. Suddenly though, he wished he had thought to order a milkshake instead.

"Two seconds ago, you didn't know what it stood for. Seriously, how'd you know?"

Her blond eyebrows furrowed together.

"I don't know? I just thought it! Like it popped into my head! Am I right?"

He nodded. "Completely right." He dismissed his suspicion. She probably picked it up from some documentary or something.

"I probably just picked it up from some documentary or something," she said casually before taking a sip from her milkshake.

The blood drained from his face. "Oh god, Odango! Are you in my head?"

Baffled eyes considered him in total confusion. "What are you talking about baka?"

He ran a hand through his raven locks, trying to calm himself. Kami-sama, he was being so _weird_ today! And those blue eyes – so piercing, so intense. He couldn't look away.

 _What would it be like to be stuck in Chiba Mamoru's head?_

An image of him standing shirtless in front of a full-length mirror flashed through his mind.

He blushed at the thought – it was _her_ thought he realized, though he had no trouble correcting the details for her. Since when had Usagi found him attractive?

 _I'm not blind!  
_

He leapt to his feet. "How did this happen?" he hissed.

"How did what happen?" she echoed, her eyes wide with sudden concern.

"We seem to be linked? Or is it only one way?"

She eyed him for a moment, biting her lower lip as she considered. "Are you the reason I've been thinking about math and coffee all morning?!"

He groaned, slumping back into his seat and letting his head fall into his hands.

"You really know how to ruin a perfectly good day baka! There are so many other, _better,_ things to think about!"

"We need to figure this out Odango," he interrupted. "Think back to your last few days. Anything that seemed strange or abnormal?"

Usagi snorted at him. His headache intensified as her past few days flashed through his mind. He was at school, hanging out with the girls at the shrine, then having dinner at home, and then there was the youma battle last night…

"Well, I'm pretty convinced my brother tried to poison me last night. I mean, he's not my biggest fan, but it was a bit extreme even for him," she rambled. "Luckily, I noticed and just pretended to drink the tea."

He blinked at her stupidly, then grabbed her arm, and dragged her from the arcade to the relative privacy of the adjacent alleyway.

"Oy! Baka! Let me go! That hurts!" she screeched battering his arm ineffectively with an open hand. When he didn't let go, she ripped away from his grasp with a strength that didn't match her stature.

"Kami-sama! You are _so_ ridiculous!" Frustrated hands tore through his hair.

Her blue eyes peered at him, watering with barely suppressed hurt. But he could feel it, so it didn't matter if she kept herself from crying or not.

He immediately felt contrite for his tone – regretted hurting her. He _loved_ that she was ridiculous.

She gasped. "You like me _because_ I'm ridiculous?"

"I never said that!" he objected automatically.

"You're in my head baka," she snorted at him. "Wait... You _like_ me at all? I thought you hated me."

Feeling cornered and desperate to avoid that line of thinking, he started mentally reciting prime numbers.

"Why are you thinking about numbers? Mamoru-baka, stop it! I hate math!"

"That's not the issue right now! You encountered a youma last night, and you're telling me about how your brother might have poisoned you?"

"Well, you asked if anything weird had happened. Encountering a youma is not weird…" then she gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth. "I didn't say that! You didn't hear it! Stay out of my head!" She started marching out of the alleyway.

 _The girls are going to kill me!_

"Why are the girls going to kill you? Who are the girls?"

"Stop it!" she screamed, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and it didn't occur to Usagi to think of prime numbers.

He saw it all. The flashes of a talking cat teaching her to transform, the guardian facing demons again and again when all she wanted was to flee in terror, her clutching to the white lapels of Tuxedo Kamen as he whisked her out of danger at the last possible second.

She clamped her arms over her ears and started crying.

"I'm sorry," he whispered from behind, wanting to offer comfort, but having no idea how to do so. "I didn't mean to invade your privacy."

"That's _exactly_ what you meant to do!" she countered, her blue eyes flashing angrily.

"But I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know how important your secret was."

"It shouldn't matter!" she shouted. "Even if I _was_ just some ordinary girl, you have no right to pry into my head."

He froze for a long second, his lips parted as if expecting to speak, but no words came. Even as she sank to the ground, clutching her knees as she sobbed.

He sat carefully beside her.

"I-I'm sorry," he finally managed. "You're absolutely correct. I had no right."

He felt surprise burst through him, as her eyes - sparkling with tears - shot to his own. He knew the feeling was hers and not his own, and he tried not to be offended that his apology seemed out of character to her. He frowned, thinking further. Was it out of character? Was this more how she would respond being in this situation, or did he genuinely feel bad for breaking into her privacy?

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by the dramatic image of a brick wall.

"I don't think you can block me out Odango," he whispered gently.

"Usako?" she repeated, whirling back to him. Her cheeks wet with tears.

"I didn't say Usako! I said Odango."

"You _thought_ Usako!"

He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Yeah, I guess I did. I'm not sure it's fair of either of us to hold each other accountable for our thoughts at the moment."

"Mamoru-baka," she sobbed. "I don't like this. How do we fix it?"

"I don't know how to turn it off. I don't know how this happened Usako. It must have been at the battle. We must have been hit by something."

"We?" she repeated, looking at him dumbly.

And he smiled. "You were so busy panicking about your thoughts spilling over to me, you might have missed my reaction to it. Perhaps you should ask me what I remember from the last few days?"

"What do you remember from the last few days?" she asked timidly.

And he willingly let the whole past two days – from waking up alone in his empty apartment, to crashing into her including his attraction to her, to sitting through a few lectures, to whisking her away from death's clutches – wash over him.

She gasped, her eyes going wide with revelation.

And then she was crying again – harder than before, her whole body quaking.

He tried to suppress his horror and hurt at her reaction. Of course, she was disappointed. She crushed on Tuxedo Kamen hard, and to find that he was the boy who tortured her relentlessly. It would be upsetting to anyone.

But suddenly, she was in his arms. She was still crying, but he felt her wave of emotion finally overpowering his own. He smiled, realizing she felt only gratitude for all the times he had been there when no one else had, that she finally knew who he was so she could tell him what that meant to her. Her tears weren't of horror and upset, but rather of relief and release. He just clutched her to him as her tears gradually slowed and eventually dried up.

This was good, she thought. He would _definitely_ keep her secret. Maybe the girls wouldn't even be _as_ mad. Or maybe… they would be even more pissed.

"Why would my being Tuxedo Kamen make them angrier?" he asked.

She started. "That is still so weird!"

He grinned, and kept thinking of the question anyway, knowing his own curiosity was invading her skull.

"Umm… they don't trust him. He could be a spy for the enemy!"

He rolled his eyes at this. "Are they not present at battles? When have I ever worked against them?"

"You always leave," she explained shortly. She didn't ask the question, but he knew she wanted to. Why did he always leave without a word?

"I… don't know," he admitted, feeling self-conscious. "I just… it's easier to pull off the dark mysterious romantic when you don't say much and just disappear?"

She giggled. "You are such a dork!"

He frowned, bristling at the insulting label.

"So, do the senshi have any resources that might fix our dilemma?" he asked, to change the subject.

She had no idea, but it was clear who she would ask first.

"Let's go talk to Ami and Luna then. They can run whatever tests," he said, offering her a hand to help her to her feet.

"That's what I was thinking!" she exclaimed gleefully, taking his hand.

"I know," he said with his usual mocking smile.

"This is _so_ weird!"

They walked together. Suddenly no words were needed. He already knew where they were going and how to get there as if he had been to the Hikawa Shrine dozens of times before.

"Luna's a cat right?" he asked her into the silence, still doubting his sanity a bit with regards to the feline.

"Well, she looks like a cat, but she's actually an alien from the planet, Mau."

He wasn't even phased by that bit of information. "Ah, that explains a few things."

"Mamoru-baka?"

"Yeah…"

"Why do you live alone? Where are your parents?"

His teeth clenched. He didn't bother to answer out loud, but he didn't fight the surfacing memories of the car accident or waking up in the hospital with no one and no memory, either.

It felt like retribution for the fact he had pushed her too far earlier – invaded something that wasn't his right to know until she was ready to tell him.

He didn't expect her to seize him in a hug – once again, sobbing once again into his midriff.

"Usako," he whispered, patting her back awkwardly. "It happened a long time ago."

"But it's so sad. No wonder you've always been a jerk!" she wailed into his shirt.

"Hey! I am not _always_ a jerk!" he objected.

"Give _one_ example!" she challenged, pulling herself upright. But her hands were still on his waist.

"How about letting you overhear that memory! Saving your life on a weekly basis? That one time I saved Luna from becoming a kitty pancake?"

"Whatever baka!"

They both fell into silence again, but it wasn't really silent at all with both their minds buzzing with uncontrolled thoughts and feelings.

He wasn't really that bad – never had been actually. She actually enjoyed crashing into him and arguing with him both. Then she blushed becomingly and jerked her eyes to him.

He smirked, feeling superior again, and perhaps a little flattered.

"Mamoru-baka, what if Ami can't fix this?"

"You're going to be spending a lot of mornings thinking about math…"

"Nooooo…. I don't wanna! We _have_ to be able to fix this!"

He laughed. Maybe it wasn't so bad being linked. Goodness knew he'd never run out of entertainment from her never ending wailing, antics, and just overall ditziness.

The weird random thoughts and food cravings weren't so bad either now that he understood where they were coming from. She really was rather cute.

"Mamoru-bakaaaaaaaa…" she wailed, crocodile tears streaming from both of her beautiful blue eyes. "Stop being so mean!"

" _Mean_? I was just thinking about how cute you are!"

"But in a totally condescending way because you find me illogical and ditzy!"

He sighed. This was going to be exhausting. His thoughts definitely did not have the thick filter his tongue did.

"I didn't mean it in a condescending way. Maybe I envy those qualities in you Usako," he whispered.

She stared at him silently. "Because it's easier to make friends," she spoke his thoughts out loud as if they were her own.

He nodded. He had never really been very good at it. He had been lucky that Motoki adopted him, and even luckier that she never disowned him despite his constant cruel and teasing remarks.

She hooked her arm through his and led them forward with plans to help him make half a dozen new friends before the day was out – with all the senshi and feline advisors apparently.

He had never been more terrified in his life.

She patted his arm reassuringly, with a gentle smile. "You'll be fine baka. I'll protect you."

…

 **A/N:** This was originally supposed to be just a one-off reveal. But it ballooned and now has a four-chapter outline, so I'm posting it as its own story! And knowing me, those four chapters might turn into six or so when we actually get there.

And I swear I haven't forgotten about my other works…  
1) I am putting the finishing touches on a new Reveal that should hopefully be posted SOON! (Whatever "soon" means in this world – I don't actually know…).  
2) Coming of Age's next chapter is three halves of a scene away from being posted. I'm really trying to live up to the vision I have in my head for this story! I'm really excited about it! And I've been getting reviews on this one so I'm really motivated to work on it!  
3) Invisible Wounds next chapter has been completely blocked out with all major moving parts, but needs some polishing everywhere.  
4) And for the whole two people reading this who care, my next chapter of Fighting Fate has also been completely outlined!


	2. Period of Adjustment

A/N: To be honest, in the insanity that is my life, I had forgotten about this story. But then SaturnnFoxx was kind enough to leave a short review! And I ended up pulling open my document and throwing this chapter together in the span of four days! Yay! Hope you enjoy!

 **Chapter 2: Period of Adjustment**

Usagi marched him up the stairs, into the temple, and through the pristine hallways into a private meeting room confidently, as if she lived there. She immediately plopped down onto her knees at the small circular table, pulling Mamoru down with her.

The table was already occupied – four familiar girls, her closest friends all stared at her in various states of shock – eyes darting towards him in wariness. She was aware of their discomfort – but she ignored it completely, instead pouring a cup of tea and passing it to him before she took up a cookie for herself.

He accepted the gift absently, and took a small sip before smiling in contentment. He knew he should be nervous, but her confidence in facing her friends, her senshi, poured into his form, and he let himself feel that, and forced himself to take a deep lungful of air.

"Luna!" Usagi sighed through a mouthful of treats, addressing the black cat that sat next to a white counterpart on a box behind the circular table. "I need your help!"

If the room had been silently tense before, now it had reached all-out panic levels.

Usagi still seemed unfazed, and Mamoru wondered how much of her oblivious ditziness was usually an act.

She glared at him then.

 _I am_ not _oblivious. Or ditzy!_

 _Really? Because I can think of a few instances from just today._

He couldn't help the smirk that bloomed across his face.

"A-hem," the shrine maiden interrupted their silent conversation. "Usagi-chan," she began tightly. "What is Mamoru-san doing at our study session?"

"It's alright," the ondangoed blonde waved away their concern dismissively. "He knows."

"What do you mean he _knows_?" Rei spat out. The other girls looked tense, and even the cats – or Mauans, whatever – had risen to their haunches. "Knows _what_?"

"Usagi-chan! How could you be so irresponsible?" Ami jumped in, her eyes wide with concern.

And he felt internal Usagi's flinch. If _Ami,_ who was normally kind, patient, and at least willing to hear her out, had condemned her outright, Usagi was doomed.

It seemed she was correct, because Makoto and Minako were quick to jump in with questions on what had happened and how, while Rei shook with incoherent rage.

Usagi didn't respond to any of it. He stared at her in concern as her shoulders slumped and she just took the barrage. Sudden spiraling feelings of self-loathing and inadequacy writhed into his stomach like coiled snakes. She wasn't good enough to be a senshi anyway – the confidence that had bolstered him moments ago had vanished, lost down the black hole of her anxiety.

"Stop," he interjected firmly, though without raising his voice. His voice, cut through their verbal assault like an ice javelin just the same.

 _None of this was your fault. You know that, right?_

 _I was too slow, couldn't get out of the way. If you hadn't tried to rescue me, neither one of us would have been hit._

"It's not her fault!" he barked coldly across the crowded table. "It's hard to keep a secret from someone who can read your mind."

 _You are a fantastic senshi. My personal favorite._

She peered at him gratefully, a faint blush dusting her cheeks.

The others stared at him in shock!

"What do you mean, you can read her mind?" Makoto demanded, brunette leering threateningly across the table at him.

"How dare _you_!" Minako accused, rising to her feet threateningly. He leaned back. "Talk about an invasion of privacy!

"How did this even happen?" Ami asked with only slightly more patience.

And now suddenly, Mamoru understood Usagi's fear. These were four very powerful women who all seemed to have come to the conclusion that whatever was going on was entirely his fault. And clearly, as much as they chastised Usagi, they also were insanely protective of her.

"I don't need you to protect me!" Usagi cut in this time. "I…" she glanced at him and reached for his hand, which he took. And only after he did, was he surprised at himself. He wondered if it had been her idea and he hadn't realized. But now that he had her hand, he wasn't going to let it go. "I mean… _we_ …" she corrected the pronoun firmly, "need your help. Something happened at the youma battle last night. And now we are in each other's heads. And guys! I don't like thinking about math all the time!"

The other six stared at the two of them in uncertainty.

Then Rei broke the silence with a burst of undignified giggles. "Perhaps, _that_ would do you some good," she teased.

And with that the tension evaporated, and Mamoru urged himself to relax. He was dimly aware of Usagi doing the same, though she also took the time to pat his captured hand in comfort.

"Rei-chan," the blond began seriously, "would you really want _anyone_ to hear _everything_ even if it made you crazy good at something?"

Rei simply rolled her eyes. Ami pulled out a little blue handheld computer decorated with the symbol for Mercury.

"How was Mamoru even involved with the battle?" Makoto interjected, the suspicion still dripping from her tone.

Usagi peered at him at the question.

 _What do you want to tell them?_

And he jumped, somehow startled, realizing that she wasn't going to reveal his secret. It was up to him.

 _Thank you_ , he thought to her, _for your trust_. She smiled – it wasn't beaming, it didn't spread across her whole face – but it was soft, gentle, and meant only for him.

He cleared his throat.

"I'm Tuxedo-Kamen," he blurted it out. There was little point in trying to dance around that fact.

Another shocked silent moment passed over the circle of senshi. But then Minako rolled back, squealing in delight, while Rei scowled with obvious displeasure. And Luna looked outright suspicious.

 _How can a cat look so human?_

Usagi giggled.

Ami stayed focused, barely phased by the revelation. "So, what exactly happened at the battle that you think caused this?"

"She was in trouble…" he began.

"…but he has good timing," Usagi quickly jumped in.

"As we were moving away, we were hit by…"

"… something. It wasn't physical."

"More mental for sure."

Minako and Makoto's eyes were flitting back and forth between them as the two of them passed the conversation back and forth seamlessly with barely concealed grins.

"That's when you both fell to the ground?" Ami asked, not sparing a glance from her screen, continuing to type away at the little device.

"And came up clutching our heads!" Usagi responded. "Kami-sama, it hurt!"

"It _still_ hurts!" he echoed.

"Any other symptoms? When did you notice?" the senshi of knowledge questioned.

"Well, not right away," Mamoru told her. "I just woke up with a splitting headache. It doesn't seem like you're hearing someone else. It's like it's your own thought."

"But it doesn't make any sense! Like why would I _ever_ be craving a cup of coffee?" Usagi asked, her face twisted in disgust.

"Or find my best friend super cute," Mamoru added with a smirk.

"Your best friend _is_ super cute!" Makoto interjected.

He sighed. He didn't have the patience for teenage girls.

 _You love every minute of it._

"So, I've got good news and bad news," Ami began. "The good news is neither of you have been affected physically by this. And your brains both look to be rewiring themselves to accommodate the other. It's quite fascinating really – like you're becoming one individual brain, while maintaining two separate bodies!"

"Ami-chan!" Rei interrupted sharply.

"It's not that abnormal actually. Many couples who have been together or married for decades develop some similar neurological symbiosis, but it usually takes…"

"Decades! Yeah, we heard you Ami-chan! What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that it appears to be accelerating, and I have no idea how to fix it. You may be stuck like this."

"Amiiiii," Usagi whined.

 _You're loving every minute of it_ , he thought mockingly – earning him a pointed blue-eyed glare.

He smirked.

The bluenette held her hand up to forestall the objection. "I will try Usagi-chan, but I have no idea what we're dealing with here. I don't want to promise anything."

The black cat moved forward, and nuzzled Usagi's hand. "We will of course help Ami-chan in any way that we can," the cat spoke.

Mamoru jumped. Of course, he had already known the feline could talk. But experiencing it was altogether different – almost creepy.

Usagi started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Luna demanded.

"Nothing..." but everyone kept staring at her, and she shrugged. "Mamoru just finds a talking cat somewhat… intimidating."

"That is _not_ what I thought," he objected, his voice surly and petulant even to his own ears.

"I thought intimidating was more polite than creepy."

The feline looked over at him in surprise, and then smirked in the most eerily human fashion.

 _Definitely creepy._

…

Usagi groaned upon waking, clutching her throbbing head that must have been trampled on by a thundering stampede in her sleep. Even after a whole week linked, the headache never faded, _especially_ in the morning. It was so much worse in the morning.

Ami had insisted the headache was not a sign of continued harm or brain damage. She hypothesized it was probably just the fact that they were apart and their symbiotic brain was getting stimuli from multiple places, and they weren't equipped to totally make sense of it. The attempt to do so was, well, headache inducing. She suggested the best remedy was to spend time together so there was less contradictory sensory information sent to their heads.

It hadn't taken long to discover that the senshi of wisdom and knowledge, was unfortunately correct. The migraine lessened when they were in the same room – and was even better if they were sitting next to one another. But it's wasn't like her parents would suddenly be okay with sleepovers at Mamoru's, and would probably be even less okay with his constant presence in her bedroom.

So, to give them both a short respite before school, Mamoru had taken to picking her up for school. And that meant she had to _actually_ wake up in the morning. But this turned out to be easier than she thought it would be because the second she was conscious, feelings of anxiety about lying around, or _worse_ , being _late_ , would spiral around her skull. She _hated_ this new feeling, and she blamed her new mind-mate completely! The boy _seriously_ needed to learn to enjoy a good lie in!

 _I prefer a leisurely morning routine._

She ignored the errant thought as she pulled herself out of the warm nest of crumpled blankets towards her outfit that she had set out the day before. Why had she done that? It was bad enough that her room was actually _clean_. She had resisted the urge to tidy up for days, but her skin crawled every time she walked into her usual disaster of a room. She had finally broken down and deep cleaned the whole space, loudly cursing Mamoru's existence as she did so.

 _But isn't it so much more pleasant now? Less cluttered so you can actually think?_

 _I was doing just fine before!_

The truth was the room was now so organized, it didn't entirely feel like her own. It was like her safe haven of haphazard chaos had been violated with his obsession with cleanliness.

Though it _was_ nice to be able to find the right manga volume within seconds.

 _Are you smirking?! You'd better not be smirking!_

She quickly dressed and grabbed her briefcase, knowing he was already outside. She waved calmly to her mother who smiled knowingly at her daughter as she made her casual exit without breakfast.

 _She thinks we're dating._

 _That makes sense under the circumstances._

Usagi growled in irritation at his calm acceptance of the statement. Couldn't he have at least blushed or something? Like why didn't her embarrassment carry over to him the way everything else did?

"Because I'm more accustomed to people making inaccurate snap judgements of me," he told her as she slipped into the seat beside him.

She ignored his words, and instead laid back and allowed her eyes to close, basking in the sweet relief of an _almost_ pain free existence.

"It's good to see you too Usako," he said sarcastically into her continued silence, as he drove them to what was now their regular café. They both decided that they didn't want to explain their sudden attachment at the hip to Motoki by heading to the Crown.

"I'll talk after you've fed me," she growled. She knew for a fact that he was very aware that she was _not_ a morning person.

 _That's what makes it so fun._

 _Shut up and drive, baka!  
_

Breakfast was non-eventful, though the meal did wonders for her mood. But it passed by too quickly, and soon she was bracing herself in preparation for the return of the pulsing migraine that would return as soon as he drove away.

 _I'll miss you too, Usako._

She made her way to class focusing on her breathing – maybe the headaches would become so normal she wouldn't even notice them anymore. And at least she was suddenly doing way better in her two worst subjects – Math and English. Today, they had a quiz in Algebra, and she hadn't even bothered to study knowing that Mamoru's brain could solve her "simple" algebra problems without thinking.

At her desk, she pulled out and organized her materials – a pencil, plus an extra one just in case the first one broke, a highlighter for word problems, and a large eraser.

"Usagi-chan?" Naru asked, leaned over her desk – her eyes wide with concern. "What are you doing?"

The blonde glanced down at her materials, each organized by color in perfectly straight lines ready for any eventuality, and blushed.

Normally, she would have had nothing before the teacher walked in, and been begging a writing utensil off her seat partner after the quiz had been passed out.

With an aggravated growl, she purposely scattered the pile of materials so it looked more like her normal disorganized mess.

"What are you talking about?" Usagi asked innocently.

"You're just so… prepared."

"I studied really hard for this quiz," she insisted.

 _Liar._

 _Shut up, baka._

"I want to do my best."

"That's awesome! Well, good luck Usagi-chan!"

"Thanks!"

The instructor entered, and after routine instructions, handed out the quiz. Usagi finished the ten-question assessment in record time. Between having nothing to do and having Mamoru's Tuesday's college morning lecture on physiology of the endocrine system droning on in the back of her head, she was bored _out of her mind_. She quickly distracted herself by doodling chibi Tuxedo Kamens on the back of her test.

 _Cute._

 _Kami-sama!_

His condescending smugness was intolerable! Especially now that she could never escape it and when she could feel it herself!

"Ugh! Just shut up!" she screeched, clutching the skull that betrayed her constantly.

"Tsukino-san!" teacher called out in shock. "Please give me your quiz and take a step outside."

The blonde quickly complied, her head hung low in embarrassment at her outburst.

"I can't believe you made me do that," she whispered into the deserted hallway.

 _I didn't make you do anything._

"Who are you talking to?" her red-headed teacher asked, suddenly appearing at Usagi's shoulder, causing the blonde to start in surprise once again.

"Just the voices in my head," Usagi mumbled in defeat.

"And during the exam?"

"The same," she confirmed.

"Tsukino-san, this is a perfect score. And forgive me for being suspicious, but this is nowhere near your normal performance. If you _tell_ me who you were talking to you'll be in less trouble than if I discover it myself."

"I swear I wasn't talking to anyone," Usagi insisted. "The quiz is my own work."

 _To be fair, that quiz is_ my _work. You're definitely cheating._

 _Shut_

up _baka!_

"For your outburst in class during a quiz, you have detention this afternoon, and I insist that you come in during lunch to make up a second version of this quiz."

"Yes sensei."

She could hear the mocking laughter in the back of her head.

 _I'm so going to get back at you for this!_

…

For Mamoru, the biggest change in his world, besides having a teenage girl in the back of his brain, was that he could suddenly read people. Not only his closest friends, like Motoki, but his casual acquaintances and classmates as well. With just a glance, he had some of an idea on who was excited, upset, or stressed out just from a slump of the shoulders or a furrowed eyebrow. He even knew what to say or do to maybe make those who were struggling more comfortable or supported. He fought the urge more often than not though, worried that his inclinations were not truly his own. But every now and again, he'd have what he called an "Usagi Moment" and his normal inhibitions would just drop.

It was driving him crazy.

Take this morning, for example. Saori had been sitting at a table in the cafeteria, completely alone, her head hanging low, gripping her dark hair absently into her own fists.

He had sat opposite her without thinking.

"Saori-san, are you okay?" he asked her.

"Ma-Mamoru-san!" she greeted with a slight smile and sat up straight in her seat. "I was just thinking about some things that I would like to change in my life, but it feels so impossible."

"You want to talk about it?"

It had been an innocent offer. He didn't like seeing anyone so sad, and he had just wanted to make her feel better. He hadn't expected her to confess to having feelings for him or that she had been secretly despairing that he would never notice her _right_ when he walked over.

He had then stupidly offered to get to know her better, perhaps over coffee.

He groaned. He hadn't just asked her out had he?

 _You totally did. But she's gorgeous, so what's the problem?_

He dropped his aching head into his hands.

 _The problem Usako, is that_ you _are in my head!_

 _I was helping you!_

He didn't bother to respond. Instead, he rubbed his pounding head, trying to find the projectiles that had to be lodged into it somewhere to be feeling this much pain.

 _Can we meet? My head wants to explode._

 _I'm waiting on you, baka._

And she was right – he could see the familiar environs of the arcade too easily through her eyes.

He arrived and took a seat in his usual stool. Usagi was sitting at a booth across the room with her friends. She didn't look in his direction, but she definitely knew he was there. Gave him what she had dubbed a "brain hug" in greeting, which was just a flood of warm feelings.

His headache all but disappeared, and he decided he didn't actually need to interrupt her time with her senshi.

"Hey Mamoru-kun!" Motoki greeted him passing over his usual coffee, and Mamoru found himself blushing slightly at his friend's presence.

"You have such gorgeous eyes," he said without thinking.

The blond part-timer froze like he had been slapped. "What?" he finally managed.

"Your eyes. One could get lost in them."

"Did you lose a bet or something?" The arcade worker asked with a wide grin.

The question shook Mamoru loose, and he turned to glare at the odangoed blonde at the booth across the arcade who had burst into laughter.

"Or something," Mamoru agreed, grinding his teeth, stomped over and dragged Usagi away firmly by her arm from her friends, who all looked beyond amused.

"You have got to stop making me hit on everyone!" he hissed, shaking her slightly with each word. She didn't resist his manhandling, though she was certain it was going to bruise. He forced himself to release her arms.

"I'm not _making_ you do anything!" she countered, crossing her arms defensively across her chest.

He arched an eyebrow and glanced at Motoki.

"Okay _fine_! But _that_ was comedy _gold_! You're just too awkward to appreciate it! But the girl – Saori was her name? You _like_ her! And she is _so_ into you! I didn't do anything!"

"I do not like her!"

This time it was she who raised the sardonic eyebrow.

"Okay, I've thought about it! Everyone has thought about it. She's gorgeous, but… You're changing the subject! The point is, _you_ dropped my inhibitions and self-control," he growled, his eyes flashing with impatience.

"Not on purpose!" she argued back. "That's just the way I am! Personally, I think it's good for you. And I think if you stand her up after you asked her out you're a world class asshole."

"Usako…" he whined. "I don't know if it's a good idea to go out with one girl, while another is roaming around in my head."

"Are you kidding?! I would help you make a date go so much better!"

"That's not the point. How do I know right now if I like her because I like her, or if your preferences are influencing my feelings? It's not fair to lead her on right now, you know?"

She considered him for a minute. "That's fair."

"And can we talk about Motoki-kun for a second?"

"What about him?" she said, her eyes suddenly evasive.

"Look, I'm not saying you can't have a crush on him or whatever. But can you tone it down a bit? He's my best friend. Like one of my _only_ friends. And right now, I can't even look at him without swooning even when you're not there!"

The fact that he needed Motoki in his life went unsaid, that he didn't want to ruin the friendship with romantic overtures. Motoki was amazingly forgiving of his various quirks but he was terrified he would cross a line and it wouldn't be the same. Of course, he didn't _need_ to say any of that.

"I understand. I… I don't know if I can help it completely… but I will try."

He smiled gratefully, and he found himself wondering what she saw in his friend anyway who never really gave her more attention than any of the other girls that came into the arcade.

 _Probably the same things you do._

He is thrown by the thought, but it made sense. They both turned and watched Motoki greet another customer – an unfamiliar face to both Usagi and Mamoru with a bright smile. He was just kind – had this way of making you feel seen and valued. That whatever you had to say was the most important thing in the world.

 _You know he's like that with everyone, right?_

 _I know he doesn't see me the same way. I'm like a kid sister to him. But that doesn't matter. I'm fifteen. Until I meet my soulmate, crushing on guys is fun!_

 _Is it? It seems so all-consuming and distracting._

Did girls think of him that way?

"Oh, you have an entire fan club," she said out loud.

"What?"

 _You mean Tuxedo Kamen?_

 _Him too definitely! That one is huge! But I was talking about your civilian identity. You didn't know?_

 _But_ why _?_

 _It's probably the stoic thing you've got going on. You're tall, dark, with gorgeous blue eyes, and a killer smile when you have the sense to actually allow one to grace your features. They'd fall even more if they knew you had a tragic backstory and a major number list of insecurities to go along with all that._

"Really?" he whispered out loud, unable to believe it. And _Usagi_ had noticed those features and thought he was attractive enough that other girls would crush on him?

She laughed. He could hear it and feel it. Soon he was too - able to feel her mirth, nevermind that he was laughing at himself and his own cluelessness.

…

Sailor Moon executed a high kick, throwing the youma eight meters backwards. She flung her tiara before it had time to recover, dusting it into smithereens.

"Nice job Sailor Moon!" Jupiter gushed, hugging the other girl from behind. The other three were not far behind.

"That was one of our smoothest battles yet!" Mercury claimed glancing through the data on her computer. "Hopefully, more of them can go this well!"

"Let's not get cocky," Venus cautioned, but her face split in a beaming grin as well.

Even Sailor Mars gave her a pleased dignified nod.

The Lunar Guardian took it all in – trying not to blush. She failed miserably. Eventually, the others left to go back home. It was two in the morning after all, but Sailor Moon stayed staring at the moon which was full tonight.

 _Thank you._

 _I didn't do anything._

 _Maybe not directly. But I can feel you – I know you're there. And I don't feel as afraid._

He swooped down from his hiding place, landed right beside her, and quickly enveloped her petite form in a hug.

She tensed for a moment, feeling overwhelmed at the swirl of both his and her own emotions – relief, pride, unwavering trust, respect, and admiration. She could barely put names to any of it, and she definitely couldn't sort out what feeling came from each of them.

She forced herself to relax, and returned his embrace. It didn't matter.

Because it was clear that neither hero wanted this moment to end.

…

 **A/N:**

Special shoutout to TinaCentury who helped me brainstorm ways in which Mamoru's personality and quirks could bleed into Usagi to drive her crazy.

My next updates are likely to be a Reveal and an Invisible Wounds chapter. After that I'll start obsessing over Coming of Age and Fighting Fate again. Life is still crazy. Updates will continue to be slow.

Reviews are love!

And inspirational fairly often if you're craving more from me!


	3. Test Anxiety

A/N: This is really only half a chapter. The second half is driving me crazy! Though we've made some progress in the last day, so there's hope. In the meantime, I really just wanted to publish something and there was an obvious break point in here, so here's a short chapter! Hope you enjoy! 

**Chapter 3: Test Anxiety**

The weather was gorgeous, which had made the walk over to The Crown a pleasure. There was that warm pleasant feeling that came with spending time with friends. The pleasant aroma of coffee tickled her nose even though no one at her table had ordered the beverage. And she had been gossiping about how long it would take Yumi-chan and Yoshiro-san to finally get together! And that meant both gushing excited thoughts and teasing sardonic and sarcastic comments swirling around in her head as well. She used to credit the latter to her mental roommate, but she wouldn't be surprised if she was picking up a bit of his dry humor.

"What's he thinking right now?" Minako asked with an evil quirk of her eyebrows, as she dove into the platter of fries that Unazaki had just delivered to their booth.

Usagi reached for a fry with a dignified restraint more characteristic of Mamoru. She squinted her eyes in thought, staring at the back of her dark-haired mind-companion as he sat conversing with Motoki and Unazaki at his normal stool at the bar.

Anxiety over an upcoming test tickled the back of her mind, though whether it was her Algebra Test or Mamoru's Anatomy midterm was unclear. Maybe it was both! He and Motoki were discussing the movie they had seen the previous evening – a horror film that had had a serious negative impact on her own dreams, and she had been obsessing over it all morning as well.

"I don't know," she finally concluded with a shrug and a smile, taking another gulp of her chocolate milkshake.

"You don't _know_?" Minako repeated, frowning in disappointment. "But I thought…"

"It's like there's just a bunch of thoughts!" Usagi interrupted. "And some of them are mine and some of them are his, but I don't necessarily know which ones are which. And it gets more complicated when he has thoughts about my thoughts and I have thoughts about his."

"But..."

"Sometimes, it's obvious. He is totally obsessed with coffee, so if I am craving a cup of coffee I know that that is him. It was so bad one morning I actually asked for a cup. Big mistake! That stuff is _awful_! How does anyone drink it, like, seriously?"

"What kinds of thoughts are difficult to distinguish?" Rei interjected, before Usagi could get too lost in railing against the evils of coffee.

"Ummm… well, I've learned that he has such a sweet tooth! He might be better at hiding it than me and he definitely has stupid amounts of self-control so he doesn't always give in, but that guy positively loves chocolate and so many other sweets, maybe even more than me! And appreciation of flowers? That could be either of us. Did you know that he loves roses?"

"He _is_ Tuxedo Kamen," Makoto observed dryly.

"But honestly, the longer this has been going on, the harder it is to tell our thoughts apart," Usagi concluded.

Ami frowned, and whipped out the blue handheld Mercury computer.

"What's the word, Ami-chan?" Makoto asked after a moment. "How worried should we be?"

"They're still not completely integrated," the senshi of knowledge reported. "I can distinguish between their two brain wave patterns. But they are definitely more tangled now, and will eventually meld completely. We're running out of time before this will become irreversible. I found some models in the Mercurian database last night that I might be able to apply to this situation. The problem is, they weren't originally designed for human brains, but for Mercurian, so I need to modify the proposed treatment plan accordingly. I'm going to spend the afternoon in the command center running some simulations."

Usagi shrugged. As annoying as the baka could be, the idea of being mentally tangled with him indefinitely wasn't as terrifying as it once had been.

 _I didn't know you cared._

Usagi could feel the smirk plastered across his face.

 _Shut up, baka. You feel the same way._

…

 _Endymion squeezed his mount's sides with his heels, urging the creature to greater speeds through the Terran landscape. The beast charged towards the hordes of inhuman invading creatures that swelled forward. He had no hope for victory with the sheer numbers against them, but there was nothing else to be done. No more worlds to flee to, no magical fantastical solution that would just cleanse all the chaos and corruption away._

 _The trained war horse crashed through the first line of the invading foes, and Endymion swung his sword on his right, slicing through a youma. He blocked an incoming blow from the other side with the shield strapped to his left arm._

Mamoru!

 _Nephrite charged into the mayhem a second behind him, keeping the enemy line from overwhelming him all at once. Endymion tipped his sword toward Nephrite, acknowledging his protection, before striking into the field once again._

 _Just as quickly the tide of the battle turned, and it was all the prince could do to fend off the blows that came from every direction. This had always been a losing battle, but he had to fight until the very end._

 _His men, the shitennou, his guardians and brothers since birth, quickly surrounded him in a protective bubble against the invading foes._

" _You need to flee!" Kunzite barked at him._

 _Endymion objected. He would stay and fight until the end – same as any of them._

" _Go!" Nephrite ordered._

" _No! I will not run like some coward." He would not leave them to sacrifice themselves for him._

" _If not for yourself, for Serenity," Zoisite beseeched him._

 _It was a low blow, but one the prince couldn't argue with._

" _For the record, you're all bastards!" Endymion growled, turning his steed behind their cover, urging the warhorse back the way they came, fleeing towards the Moon Palace, which would be their absolute last stand._

" _We love you too, Endy!" Jadeite shot back in a sing-song voice._

 _The prince leaned forward, his head low as he raced back to protect his love. He didn't think he could save her, but he had to try. And at least they would be together._

Mamoru-baka!

He tore awake with a gasp, his fists immediately clutching at the edges of the hard surface in front of him like an anchor. His peers cast startled glances in his direction, but he barely noticed, trying to calm his racing heart and slow his breathing.

It was a student desk – one of many that were common in lecture halls at Azabu High. He was still in class – Anatomy, based on the slides on the screen at the far end of the lecture hall.

His chest still pounded with the vestiges of Terran battles against hordes of nightmarish creatures. He was surrounded by students diligently taking notes. Had he actually fallen asleep in class?

He tried to slow his breathing to calm the adrenaline rush, but his heart rate continued to throb painfully in his throat, his anxiety only continuing to mount.

His attention darted around, but there was no threat. His mind flashed to another room filled with student desks – this one far smaller.

Usagi was in trouble.

 _Boy, am I ever. Nice of you to wake up!_

He bolted from the lecture hall, into the deceptively gorgeous day, found an alley to transform in, and rushed to Juuban Middle School, determined to fend off whatever homework-themed youma had infiltrated her day.

 _Baka! What are you doing?_

He barreled into the room, a rose projectile ready to be launched in one hand, his cane held high in the other, ready to defend her from anything and everything.

He froze mid-step upon encountering the room of silent teenagers scribbling furiously on paper laid out before them.

"Uh… can I help you, Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" the teacher asked, rising to her feet, breaking the shocked silence.

He stared at her dumbly.

 _Baka! Say something!_

He cleared his throat. "Ummm… no? Please carry on with your excellent work, sensei." He bowed respectfully. "Please forgive my awkward intrusion," he added, before he backed out of the classroom quickly, praying that no one caught sight of his face – no doubt the color of a perfectly ripe tomato.

"Baka," Usagi whispered under her breath. He couldn't actually hear her from the other side of the now closed door, but he knew she had said it out loud, the teasing insult echoing through his head with barely suppressed laughter.

 _You could have told me it was just a test._

 _Forgive me for assuming you could read my mind!_

His white gloved hand massaged his aching temples.

 _Do you always get so anxious taking exams?_

 _Only when I am failing completely and know it._

And with that thought, any mirth Usagi still felt at his impromptu interruption faded back into abject misery.

Mamoru wished he could help, but Feudal Japan wasn't his subject either. All he could do was listen in, as the history essay destroyed her nerves and confidence.

He decided to forego the rest of his own classes. He wouldn't get much out of them with her anxiety and panic spiraling in the back of his head.

 _Just breathe._

Instead, he went to the arcade, hoping that Motoki's familiar warm presence would be enough to calm both of their nerves even in the middle of the assessment.

But upon his arrival, Motoki gave him his usual coffee without his usual friendly greeting or smile.

"Everything okay?" Mamoru inquired, taking a careful sip from the steaming mug.

The blond part-timer sighed. "Reika's rather irritated with me at the moment."

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I think it's just that time of month."

"That is such a cop out!" Mamoru burst out. "Just because she's on her period doesn't mean her reasons for being upset are invalid! Her period might make her physically nauseous and uncomfortable, or just make her feel gross and clammy. So yeah, things probably get under her skin more. But has it occurred to you that those things _always_ get under her skin and she just has a harder time letting it slide when she doesn't feel well?"

His friend's green eyes drilled into him like they had never seen him before.

"Sorry for the diatribe," Mamoru quickly added, a warm blush dusting his cheeks, as he tried to absorb himself in his coffee once again. "You didn't ask for advice. I just… think that your relationship would work better if you operated under the assumption that your girlfriend is a valid rational human being even if you don't understand her perspective in any given moment."

"No, no need to apologize," Motoki said, quick to reassure his suddenly self-conscious friend. "That… actually makes sense? Since when do you know anything about women?" the part-timer inquired with an amused smirk.

Mamoru shrugged. "Enlightenment struck about a month ago."

Motoki laughed. He thought it was a joke. Mamoru didn't correct him.

Mamoru's whole form slumped in dejection. Usagi had just turned in her exam. It felt like Feudal Japan had kicked her ass worse than any youma ever had. And for once, he wasn't much help. There had to be a way to cheer her up.

"Can you whip me up two milkshakes to go?" Mamoru asked.

"What flavor?"

"Whatever Usagi-chan usually gets."

"Something going on that I should know about?" Motoki asked with a sly smile.

"Nope!" Mamoru exclaimed a little too quickly.

Motoki laughed again. "As long as you're being honest with yourself, Mamoru-kun." He placed the two shakes on the counter. Mamoru paid for them and stood to leave.

"And thank you, by the way," Motoki added.

"For?"

"For the insight into Reika."

Mamoru grinned and offered a two-fingered salute in acknowledgment before taking his leave.

He walked leisurely back to Usagi's school gates, this time in his civilian clothes. He timed it perfectly, arriving just as her last class of the day ended.

She knew he was there, her smile suddenly rivaling the sun in its brightness as she dashed out of the building, accepting the milkshake she knew he had brought her.

"Apparently chocolate milkshakes can fix anything," he told her softly.

 _Thank you._

 _For what?_

 _For the milkshake. For being here. For being you._

Her arms wrapped tightly around his form, and he relaxed into her embrace.

"Are you okay?" she asked after a moment.

"Huh? Am _I_ okay? You're the one that faced down an evil midterm."

She shook her head, dismissing his worry as she pulled away her blue eyes drilling into him with concern. "Your dream. It seemed _beyond_ intense."

Startled eyes jumped toward hers that flowed with concern as she sucked down her milkshake.

"You could hear the dream?" he asked in disbelief.

She nodded vigorously. "I think that was part of why the test was so terrible. Not only did I not have your brain to help me with my kanji, but I had all the adrenaline of having to slay a dreamscape of monsters in a battle I knew I was going to lose!"

"I'm sorry."

She nodded in acknowledgement. "You still haven't told me if you're okay."

"I'm okay. It was just a dream. You?"

"Much better with you here," she commented, slipping under his arms once again. Mamoru wasn't usually comfortable with close physical contact, especially in public. But today, the need for the physical comfort overpowered such inhibitions. Maybe he still felt shaken after his dream. Or maybe it was her need after that midterm.

 _Stop it. You think_ way _too much._

He laughed, and relaxed into her embrace. She was right. It didn't matter because it felt nice.

"I especially appreciate what you said to Motoki about a girl on her period," she mumbled into his side.

"I assumed that was all you."

She furrowed her brow. "No… I think that was you. I was only half listening. I think… maybe… you just understand it more now after having to put up with me last week?"

He froze at the observation.

 _What's wrong?_

 _Nothing. It's just we're blending more and more._

 _Is that a bad thing?_

 _Are you not afraid?_

 _No._

…

 **A/N:**

Next time – we have sleep overs and Mamoru goes on a date!

Special thanks to TinaCentury for being the best beta ever! I really do feel like she helps me pull together and polish the finishing touches so much faster than when I try to redraft by myself.

My life just changed a lot again with a new baby! SOOO… continue to expect updates to be slow. I guess that's not really new behavior for me though…

Reviews are love!

And inspirational fairly often if you're craving more from me! Deadly Aura wrote a review last week that made me open this document again and finally put it all together!


	4. First Date

A/N: In this chapter Mamoru refers to "Hubble Images". These are pictures that are taken of the universe by the old (now decommissioned) Hubble Telescope. Do an image search for "Hubble Images Deep Space" and you'll see what he is referring to. These pictures serve as evidence for how full the universe really is because these images were the result of pointing the telescope at seemingly total black areas of space – regions that prior to Hubble, we thought were empty – and instead, we discovered hundreds and hundreds of galaxies!

 **Chapter 4: First Date**

Mamoru lay in bed blinking at the ceiling in his dark room. He flipped restlessly to his side, looking for a more comfortable position, but the throbbing in his temples made the task impossible. He really should have been used to the headache by now. It usually returned with a vengeance in the evening when Usagi was too far away across the district.

It also didn't help that his mind was currently occupied with bright images of knights and monsters battling for the golden power of immortality.

 _Shhh._

 _Don't shush me!_

 _You're being loud._

 _I'm being completely quiet._

 _Not in your head. What are you doing, anyway?_

 _Reading._

 _Reading? What's with the knights and monsters?_

 _It's a medieval manga._

 _Ah. Can you read more quietly?_

 _No! I've been waiting for this volume to come out for weeks! This is the first chance I've had to read it!_

He sighed and rolled over again. It had been a long frustrating day, and he had been relieved to see it end. But she would likely be awake for the next hour or more, sending his own head in excited spirals with every reaction to every plot point. In short, it would be impossible to sleep.

 _You're the one spiraling._

He tried to soothe his pulsing headache by rubbing circles into his temples, but the action barely helped. It was going to be a long night.

It wouldn't have been as bad if they were together. At least then, the headache would recede. He might even enjoy the story of the cartoonish knights' quest for immortality playing out in his head. He found himself visualizing the trek to her house. He could reach her window no problem from the tree outside.

 _You're more than welcome._

He stiffened. She hadn't really thought about it, still completely engrossed in her manga. It felt like one of those automatic polite invitations, like offering a guest a glass of water.

 _Are you sure?_

Sleepovers were one of the few boundaries they hadn't yet crossed.

 _We would be_ sleeping _. This headache is killing me, Mamoru-baka. If your presence makes it go away, I'm_ all _for it._

He would be lying if he said he wasn't tempted, but this seemed like a terrible idea.

 _Your dad?_

 _Not here – out on some stakeout or something._

He bolted to his feet. If she was offering, he wasn't going to refuse. He didn't bother with the car. The next day was Saturday and he wouldn't need it to drive either of them to school. Instead, he transformed, and took the incredibly familiar route to her bedroom window.

He had never actually been inside her home, let alone her room, but she used the window to get to and from midnight battles discreetly, so he knew all the tricks to mask his presence – even which shingle on the roof was loose and shouldn't be counted on to support his weight. He slipped through the open window and let his transformation dissolve into the comfortable loose cotton pants and plain white t-shirt he had worn to bed.

She spared him not a glance, her attention riveted on the volume before her.

 _Hey._

 _Hey yourself._

He glanced around the room, not sure where to put himself, when she just scooted over slightly on her mattress in an obvious invitation.

He took it without thought, allowing her to snuggle into his side, her eyes _still_ glued to the volume in her hands. Only after they were cuddled up, completely comfortable with their shared migraine having receded to a dull ache, did he question his actions and complete lack of hesitation.

Objectively, this was a terrible idea. He had just snuck into a young teenage girl's bedroom without the knowledge of her parents. And here they were, completely entangled in one another's arms like they were some kind of couple. Their intention being to sleep together.

 _Yes! To sleep! For_ pain _management! Stop being ridiculous, baka._

He pulled away, and sat up on the bed, his back to her. Not that that really helped, because he could see the room from her perspective. She put the manga face down on the bed, and turned to him with a slight frown that he could feel.

 _Do you not want to stay?_

 _I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea._

She laughed, and gestured dramatically around the room.

 _I don't know how to tell you this, but there's no one here to get the wrong idea!_

He looked pointedly at the black cat curled up at the foot of her bed.

 _She doesn't count! She knows what's going on. And that's not what you're worried about anyway,_ she realized, her blond eyebrows furrowing in an adorable sign of concentration.

"You're worried about _us_ getting the wrong idea," she whispered out loud.

"This is all very intimate and domestic," he admitted.

 _Is that a bad thing?_

Intellectually, he knew that it wasn't. Emotionally…?

 _It's okay to be close to someone. Or do you not want to be close to me?_

 _I always wanted to be close to you._

 _So, why are you making such a fuss?_

When she put it like that…

"Come to bed," she invited out loud, patting the empty space between them.

He still hesitated.

 _I know you want to._

 _It's for pain management._

It was and yet, it wasn't completely. He liked having someone. And he liked that someone being her.

But needing someone was dangerous. The vulnerability this intimacy required was _dangerous_.

"For pain management," she assured him.

She was allowing him to save face.

Which was dumb. He knew and she knew, and he knew that she knew… so who was he saving face from?

 _Luna?_

And now she was mocking him.

"For pain management." he said out loud.

"Can I go back to reading now?"

He nodded his permission, settled back into the bed again with her nuzzled into his side, and let his eyes fall closed, the cartoonish medieval battles of her manga playing out in his head once more. Moments later, Luna planted herself on his chest and began purring, adding to the warmth that nestled around him like a blanket fresh out of the dryer. He pet her absently, like she was an ordinary house cat. It did not take long for sleep to claim him.

And when morning came, he couldn't remember having ever slept so well. Not a single nightmare or headache plagued his rest. And Usagi, nestled into his side, adding extra warmth and comfort, fit perfectly – like two puzzle pieces snapping together. He pulled her closer to his chest and breathed in the scent of her floral shampoo.

Maybe he could come to appreciate that lie-in after all.

 _What time was it anyway?_

He glanced towards the window, trying to judge the amount of light bleeding from the edges of her curtains.

 _Who cares? It's Saturday._

She shoved her face further into his chest. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist, allowing himself to drift back towards slumber, only dimly aware of the growing bustling activity that could be heard from the floor below.

Suddenly, she shoved him hard off the bed and he landed on unforgiving cold ground, feeling more offended than hurt.

"What was that for?" he barked indignantly.

"You have to get out of here!" she whispered back frantically, her anxiety pulsing through his own thoughts.

"Your dad home?"

"My dad?!" she repeated in surprise. "He's a total softie! It's my _mom_ you have to worry about!"

"Why didn't you say that last night, when I asked about him?" he countered, collecting himself off the floor, rubbing his elbows that had managed to mostly break his fall.

"You asked me while I was reading manga! I didn't think about _why_ you were asking," she bit back.

"Usagi!" the maternal voice called through the doorway. "Are you awake?"

Knowing the older woman might open the door at any time, Mamoru didn't waste another second. He transformed, raced to the open window, and leapt from the windowsill to the roof. Once out of sight, he remained motionless, catching his breath, allowing his nerves to settle.

"Usagi, are you going to sleep the whole day away?" her mother asked as she came in through the closed door.

"Of course not, mama! I'm meeting the girls today for a study session," she explained.

 _Are_ all _your study sessions actually senshi meetings? No wonder your test scores..._

 _Don't finish that thought! Ami-chan always makes us study afterwards,_ she told him, addressing his underlying concern _. Plus! With such a nerd in my head, I don't really need to study these days. Did you want to come to the senshi meeting?_

He considered the question. He might as well.

What else was he going to do?

He supposed he could get a head start on his physics project before going for a run.

 _No!_

 _No?_

 _You will not ruin my Saturday with a bunch of homework and physics equations! Besides, you have a date today with Saori-san._

 _I wasn't going to go._

 _You are_ soooo _going! You are_ not _going to stand that poor girl up._

She would never let him hear the end of it, if he ended up cancelling. It was the main reason he hadn't already done so earlier in the week.

"Usako…" he whined out loud, clutching either side of his head.

 _I keep telling you that this is not the time to start any romantic entanglements._

 _It's one date. You'll be fine. I'll help you._

…

He was not fine. He was the worst date, and staring into the barely suppressed hurt of the girl's watery teal eyes, he felt horribly guilty about ever getting Saori's hopes up in the first place.

It had started out well enough.

She had blushed when he sat down across from her at a small circular table outside a cafe, under the warm early afternoon sun. He had felt awkward after they had placed their orders, not knowing what to talk about, and Saori didn't help much as she kept smiling, blushing at him, and fiddling with her hands in her lap.

 _She's just nervous. Help her out! What is something you have in common?_

"How do you think you did on the physics exam?" he asked after a moment of silence.

 _Don't talk about_ school _! What is_ wrong _with you? That's so_ boring _!_

But Saori seized the topic like a lifeline. "I think it's the best I've done all term! And it's weird. I never thought I would like astronomy at all."

"Really? Why not?" he asked, genuinely curious. He never understood how one glance at a Hubble image of deep space wasn't enough to hook anyone into the subject.

 _What's a Hubble image?_

He pictured the sprinkling of glowing galaxies on a black field in his mind's eye, and felt Usagi's corresponding internal gasp. He raised his mug of coffee to his lips to hide the sudden distracted grin that bloomed in the wake of her awe.

"It's so abstract! And literally happening so far away that it will never affect us," Saori explained.

"So, what changed your mind?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know… I really like he _how_ we figured stuff out."

 _You're both know-it-all nerds!_

 _You say that like it's a bad thing!_

"Like we _know_ how much the earth weighs!" Saori continued. "You never really think about _how_ we know that."

 _Why is that hard to know?_

He took another sip of coffee.

 _How would_ you _weigh a planet?_

The image of a globe sitting on a giant planet sized scale filled his mind. He choked, spraying coffee in front of him, trying very hard not to laugh. He was mostly successful.

"Are you okay?" Saori asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Fine," he quipped back quickly, smoothing the cloth napkin over his lap as he offered her a polite smile he hoped was reassuring.

But the silence turned awkward again, as teal eyes considered him in confusion. He didn't know how to fill it.

 _It's not that hard, baka._

"Tell me more," he invited. He stiffened as the words left his mouth. He hadn't intended to say that.

 _Did you just speak through my mouth?_

 _Maybe…_

"After the lecture about expanding space-time, I met with sensei to ask how we even knew how far away a star or galaxy is. And it turns out there isn't just one technique," she began, her eyes sparkling in excitement.

 _Didn't we agree that you wouldn't do that anymore after the incident with Motoki?_

 _I agreed to not make you flirt with him. I also promised to help you with this date, which you clearly need!_

"They refer to the chain of techniques as the cosmic distance ladder. For stars that are relatively close we can use parallax," Saori was explaining. She placed her coffee cup on the table between them and then traced a circle around the cup. "But when stars are farther away from the sun, their position is the sky doesn't change enough for any noticeable parallax to occur. So at that point, you need a different technique for the next band of stars."

Mamoru objectively knew he would find the explanation fascinating, but he couldn't focus on his date's words, preoccupied with keeping a straight face while Usagi sent him imagery of ladders stretching out endlessly between planets.

 _Are you doing that on purpose?_

 _I am not doing anything. I think_ you _are imagining how you think I would think about cosmic distance ladders._

 _That is absurd!_

 _The thought is absurd? Or you think_ I _am absurd?_

Somehow, that hurt. Or maybe, she was hurt? He didn't know anymore.

 _Neither!_ Me _having that thought is absurd!_

 _Such thoughts are beneath you, are they?_

He thread a hand through his hair, and forced himself to breathe through his sudden agitation.

 _Am I that...?_

"Am I boring you?" a soft, uncertain voice asked.

Saori's question caught him like a deer in headlights.

"No! Not at all!" he objected. "I was just distracted. You're... really cute when you're so passionate."

She blushed, and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear self-consciously.

He smiled. She really was quite adorable. There was a touch of sadness to that thought.

 _Why though?_

"You were explaining the..."

 _Standard Candle Model_ , Usagi filled in.

 _The what?_

 _That's what she had been talking about._

 _What does that have to do with astrophysics?_

 _Don't look at me! Something about the brightness of a candle at certain distances._

 _Ah! That makes more sense._

 _Glad to help._

"...the Standard Candle and how light intensity falls off following an inverse square law," he finished.

 _How did you hear that? I mean, if I didn't hear it, how did you?_

 _I was listening! You heard, but you weren't listening._

 _I was listening!_

 _No, you weren't. And you aren't now either._

He started.

And made himself listen as she explained the international project that linked eight radio telescopes to simulate a telescope the size of the planet to take a picture of a black hole. But despite his efforts, he couldn't keep his attention on Saori. He kept losing track of what she was saying.

 _What's wrong?_

The imagery of a brick wall - this one made of pink and white bricks - filled his mind's eye, and he sighed.

 _Why do you bother? We both know neither of us has privacy anymore? Please tell me why we're feeling this way._

For a second he didn't think she would listen, but then the mental wall crumbled.

 _I just feel really inadequate. I mean, I know what you're talking about because I can see your understanding of it. But, I feel like without your help I could never keep up with you the way Saori can…_

 _Why do you need to?_

 _Because..._

"Mamoru-kun?" the soft-spoken voice interrupted his internal musings.

"Yes?"

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. I was just thinking. I apologize. You were saying?" Mamoru prompted politely.

"You know, it's clear you don't really want to be here," Saori said softly, her eyes downcast into her coffee cup.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Saori did not respond, and he shifted nervously under her gaze. He had no idea how to fix this.

Even his head remained silent.

"Honestly, Saori-san, I am not really in the right headspace to be dating anyone. The other day, you just seemed so dejected, and I wanted to do anything I could to make you feel better."

"A pity date," she summarized, her voice cold and distant.

He cringed.

"I didn't mean it that way!" he rushed to reassure.

 _Please Usako! Help me!_

 _Just be honest and open, Mamo-chan._

 _Mamo-chan?_ He felt oddly touched at the personal honorific.

 _Focus!_

"You are so kind, beautiful, and intelligent," he gushed sincerely with Usagi's guidance leading him to the right words. "I felt like I would be an idiot to not give it a chance."

Her eyes welled up with tears.

"But I wasn't ready and you deserve someone who can give you their full attention. Until I can get my head on right, I'm afraid that person isn't me."

"Are you getting over a break up or something?"

He nods in agreement. "Something like that."

"Thank you," she said, tears still threatening to fall as she rose to her feet. "For being honest."

She collected her purse, and walked quickly away, no doubt wanting to be nowhere near him if she fell apart.

Relief flooded his form at her departure, the need for pretenses having vanished.

Usagi slipped into the vacant seat not five minutes later.

"Mamo-chan! I'm so sorry. You're right. You probably shouldn't have gone on this date. I bullied you into going and I promised I would help, and all I did was make it worse!"

"Usako," he interrupted.

"I'm sorry distracted you. I feel like I ruined this for you. And that's such a shame because Saori-san is just so elegant, intelligent, and perfect."

"Usako."

"And she seems like she does it all without trying. I feel like she is who I'd want to be. Not that I could ever pull it off in a million years."

 _USAKO!_

"Yes Mamo-chan?" she said meekly.

Her silence finally left enough space for her to feel beyond her own anxiety into the storm of his own emotions - the spiraling mess of guilt, relief, and frustration.

She looked like she had been hit by a train.

"You're going to have to help me sort that all out."

"First, you are beautifully perfect just the way you are," he said out loud. He had become somewhat of an authority on the subject. "You don't need to be like Saori or really, anyone else. And it's okay that the date didn't go well. I felt like a jerk while she was sitting here crying in front of me, but I'm relieved."

"What do you mean?"

"Saori is everything that I should love. She's perfect on paper," he admitted.

"So, what's the problem?"

He looked up into into her eyes. "She doesn't make me laugh."

Pink bloomed across Usagi's cheeks as a dozen mental walls went up, but they might as well have been made of paper-thin glass for all the good they did.

He reached across the table for her hand.

"It's okay," he reassured with a gentle squeeze.

 _I feel the same way._

 _How can you? I don't even know how I feel._

 _I know that, too._

His midnight blue orbs met her cerulean ones. No words were spoken, no thoughts strung between them for a long minute.

"Do you want to grab a milkshake?" she offered into the silence. "They can fix anything!"

He smiled softly. "Sounds good."

…

Hino Rei took a giant gulp of her milkshake, her eyes never leaving the odd pair sitting side by side at the Virtua Racing console. Mamoru threw a smirk towards Usagi as they selected their racers. She didn't even turn towards him, but just burst out laughing, seemingly out of nowhere.

The miko leaned towards Ami, who already had her computer out in the seat next to her.

"Should we be worried?" Rei asked.

"I think they're cute!" Makoto interjected from across the booth before Ami could give out her report.

"Sickenly so," Rei agreed, taking another sip.

"I think they're fine for now," Ami reported, slipping the handheld blue computer out of sight. "There's still two distinct brain wave patterns in any case."

"Well, that's good," Minako stated happily as she finished the last of her own shake, slamming the empty glass down on the tabletop before leaping to her feet. She stood behind the two players, watching the race. She wasn't the only one. A crowd was forming behind them.

Motoki quickly slipped into the vacated seat, setting down an empty tray. "What's going on with Usagi and Mamoru?" he asked, leaning forward. "Are they dating now?"

"For a few weeks now," Makoto indulged.

Rei snorted. "Not that they know that's what happened."

Motoki's face twisted in obvious confusion. "What?" he asked when no one elaborated.

"It's hard to explain," Ami admitted.

Rei nodded in agreement. "Let's just say they're in denial."

All their heads turned toward an uproar from the crowd surrounding the Virtua console.

"Did you guys seriously just tie?!" Minako's disbelief cut through the crowd's murmur. "How is that even possible?"

…

 **A/N:**

OH my goodness! I struggled so much with that date scene. I had an outline for so long that I loved in concept, but had no idea how to flesh out! I eventually fell back on my own physics expertise (inspred by recent pictures of black holes if you must know!)! If none of that made sense to you, don't worry about it. It was just a backdrop! Usagi may not understand it either. She's still amazing in my book!

Thanks to all of you that take the time to leave a review or comment! You kept me coming back to this chapter. You made me work through the struggle. And I _think_ it paid off. Hopefully, you agree. Thank you for your patience!

And a special thanks to TinaCentury as always. I may one day learn how to use a comma correctly! She also gives content feedback that just makes things flow better! She's the best for squeezing my chapter into her full life.

Reviews are love!


	5. Positive Feedback Loop

A/N:

I think I'm kind've stretching the limits of my teen rating here. So, I'm adding an additional warning because I'm trying to get better about tagging things. There are sexual themes and references to masturbation in this chapter. Nothing remotely explicit is described - just implied… a _lot_. There is also a lot more swearing than normal. For some reason… More than a few F-bombs will be dropped. So, in short, be aware of very strong T rating!

Very special shout out to TinaCentury for specifically helping me to flesh out the non-dialogue aspects of this chapter so that it would better evoke the feelings I was going for! (And for catching all the compound words I messed up, not to mention missing commas). 

Have fun!

 **...**

 **Chapter 5: Positive Feedback Loop**

Mamoru leaned back against the solid pillar that supported the main entrance to the Hikawa Shrine, a slight breeze offering very little relief from the afternoon sun.

 _Just go in, baka._

 _I was waiting for you._

 _You're just scared of the girls._

 _All of them at once? Absolutely._ He was not ashamed. The senshi were beyond intimidating, especially when all together.

The door behind him slid open, and he jumped.

"Mamoru-san!"

He whirled towards the miko, who stood in the archway, her face open and friendly in greeting.

"Rei-san. It's good to see you," he greeted with a slight bow of his head.

 _She doesn't bite._

 _No, she shoots fire from her hands._

"I didn't realize you were here already. Where's Usagi-chan?"

"On her way."

"How's your head?" she asked, her eyes soft with concern.

 _See! Rei-chan is the sweetest!_

 _I'll remember that next time you panic over spilling crumbs in her manga._

"Bearable."

 _Liar._

Mamoru ignored the voice in his head. The headaches were getting worse every day. Luckily, being together worked as a remedy better than it had in the beginning.

"Well, you don't have to wait out here. You can come in out of the heat if you like. There's tea and some daifuku."

"Tea is fine," he said as he stepped inside.

"Usagi-chan told us that you really like sweets." She followed him in and pointed to the plate of sweets at the center of the low round table.

He tried not to be irritated. Usagi was open about everything, whereas, he tended to keep things private.

 _Being a sweet tooth is supposed to be private?_

 _It's contrary to my image._

 _You are such a dork!_

"I'm partial to chocolate," he deflected.

"Suit yourself," Rei allowed, her lips twisted in amusement.

He chose not to respond as he took a seat next to Ami, who had her head buried in some readings on the Mercury computer – probably related to his and Usagi's mind meld, but he didn't ask. He wasn't yet one hundred percent comfortable around the young scholar, but as long as he was as far away from Minako as possible, he considered it a win.

 _Should I be upset you don't like my friends?_

 _I like them._

 _What was all that then?_

 _They just don't like me._

 _You're being ridiculous._

"It was so cute!" Minako exclaimed, her blue eyes focused entirely on Makoto, sparing Mamoru not a glance. He preferred it that way honestly. "He had made this sign asking Yumi-chan to go with him to formal. It was huge!" she spread her arms to illustrate.

Mamoru poured himself some tea.

"The artwork was gorgeous," Minako continued to squeal, her words coming almost too fast to catch. "He got the got the boys' volleyball team to hold it up outside of homeroom right when we got out. He timed it perfectly. When Yumi-chan saw it she was so embarrassed – but in like a pleased super happy way. She turned around to run back into the classroom, and he was right there blocking her path! Holding out a bouquet of roses. He didn't even have to say a word!"

"Did she say yes?" Makoto prompted desperately, her hand holding a half-eaten, and completely forgotten, fruity daifuku.

"After that whole display?!" Minako's voice jumped an octave in her excitement. "Of course she did!"

"About time!" Makoto cheered.

"Well, good for Matsuo-san," Ami added absently, her eyes remaining focused on the screen of her computer. "He's been crushing on her for years."

"Matsuo-san?" Mamoru repeated in surprise, setting down his tea. "But I thought Yumi-chan was holding out for Yoshiro-kun."

All three girls blinked at him.

"What?" he asked, the cup of tea frozen mid-air halfway to his mouth.

The laughter was simultaneous and loud, and completely at his expense. He felt his cheeks warm. Even Usagi was giggling in the back of his head.

"Shut up!" he growled. "Just tell me how Yoshiro-kun is taking this! He must be devastated!"

"Well Mamoru-kun," Minako said, a condescending superior smirk met his cobalt blue eyes. "If you must know."

He nodded. Clearly, Usagi had stolen the last of his shame and self-respect.

"Yoshio-kun was definitely down about it, but then Kotone-chan was sad about Matsuo-kun nabbing a date. And the two of them kinda bonded over both being looked over. I think it's all going to work out!"

Usagi flew in at that moment, plopping down into the last open seat, her face flushed, no doubt from the physical exertion of flying up the stone staircase to arrive. He smiled at her, and she beamed back.

 _You look beautiful today._

Her blush deepened and she buried her face into her tea cup.

He relaxed and all the tension he hadn't even been aware of drained away. He felt at peace just at the sight of her.

"I'm so excited to hear about Yumi-chan and Matsuo-kun! They'll look so cute together at the dance," Usagi gushed, needing no explanation.

Four sets of eyes darted to Mamoru for a second.

"I'm never going to get used to this, am I?" Rei grumbled.

Minako patted her hand consolingly. Rei snatched it back.

"Well, if we're all here," the miko facilitated. "Perhaps we should get started?"

"Yes!" Minako agreed, clapping her hands together. "Ami had an update for us."

The senshi of Mercury started explaining the results of her latest simulation and how close she was getting. But Mamoru and Usagi weren't listening.

 _It's probably boring anyway._

 _Speak for yourself._

He probably _would_ have found it interesting. It's just nothing could compete for his attention against Usagi.

…

Usagi stepped from the stream of hot water, having woken early enough for the luxury of starting the day with a shower – a rare accomplishment even since Mamoru had started sharing her headspace. It was a refreshing start to the day, and definitely a habit she could get used to.

She moved into her bedroom and tossed the towel to her bed as she moved to her school uniform. She pulled on her underwear - pink and cute - when the elastic band settled on her painfully tender hip. She glanced down – having forgotten about the injury she had acquired at the previous night's battle - the ugly purple blotch started at her right side and stretched to the center of her back.

 _Are you okay?_

 _I think so._

She hadn't thought the injury was this extensive. Concerned, she moved to the front of her mirror so she could see the whole thing. Delicate fingers traced the borders of the bruising, which extended from the center of her back. She stared at it in morbid fascination – it was almost pretty. The center, where the blow had landed, was white as if all the blood had been forced from the area, but it spread outward in spiraling patterns in fantastic shades of purple, blue, and deep red.

Goosebumps sprouted underneath her gentle fingers, and a shiver – just a whisper – shot down her spine. She stilled.

 _OH MY GOD!_

 _What the hell Mamoru-baka? Are you turned on right now?_

 _Shit._

She screeched and grabbed the abandoned towel and turned away from the mirror.

 _Hentai!_

 _I'm sorry!_

 _How much of that was you?_

She meant her tracing the pattern. Had that been her action or his? But he didn't know any more than she did. She could speak from his mouth, so surely, he could control her hands...

 _I'm sorry!_

She took slight comfort in the fact that neither of them had been quite aware of what was happening until after it had happened. And that for once, he wasn't smug. He was just as mortified and embarrassed as she was.

And still super turned on.

She pulled the towel tighter around herself. Kami-Sama, she couldn't handle this!

How was she ever going to get dressed again?

Somehow, she managed, but not without consequences. Usagi climbed into the car that morning when Mamoru came to pick her up, unable to even look at him.

 _Not a word baka! Just drive!_

Breakfast was super awkward and quiet that morning.

…

Days later, things had not improved for Mamoru in the slightest. He couldn't look at her, he couldn't even _think_ of her (which is almost impossible to avoid when she was in his fucking head) without becoming aroused. Usagi had always been an eye-catching girl with legs that went on for miles, a genuine smile so bright it made him feel warm, and compelling blue eyes that seemed to pierce into his soul, especially when she was angry. Of course, she had always stolen his gaze. It wasn't a new revelation.

 _It's not?_

He had always found her attractive.

 _You have?_

It had been a fact he had tried to hold close to his chest, but now that it had exploded, his attraction had become constant and overwhelming. And he couldn't figure out _why_.

 _Look! It's fine. It was a shock at first, but I'm okay. I know you didn't mean to. Hell, I'm not even sure it was completely you._

 _And how often did you get turned on looking in the mirror before we were linked?_

 _Well, it wasn't often, but it wasn't never either._

His cheeks burned at the admission.

 _You're not helping!_

 _Who said I was trying to help?_

He groaned; his head hit the desk with a thunk.

The worst part of this wasn't even that he couldn't hide any of it. That was definitely awful in and of itself. He felt so exposed because she was aware of every single errant thought, of the tiniest twitch – physical or mental.

No, the worst part was that after her initial mortification, she embraced the new dynamic and took every opportunity to give him complete and absolute hell.

He would see her and feel the rush of attraction – his face flaming, his heart pounding, his groin tightening. She would stop mid-sentence, no matter who she was talking to or what she was saying, and turn that superior smirk toward him, freezing him in place. It was _his_ fucking smirk. She had no right to wear it.

 _But I like it. It's fun._

Other times, she would play it coy by gently curling a strand of golden hair around her ear or turn just fast enough so her skirt would flare and he'd see a flash of thigh - long and smooth. And typically, she did this during the _worst_ possible moments.

Like during a fucking battle. He would watch her, with his heart falling into his stomach like lead, execute some improbable acrobatic move that sent her adversary reeling, showing off _exactly_ how _flexible_ her petite form was in an outfit that left _far_ too little to the imagination, and then turn to his hiding spot and fucking _wink_.

He groaned. She was loving this. And it was cruel.

 _Empowering_ , she corrected.

 _It's not the time!_

He could hear her laughter. And not just in his head, she was actually laughing wherever she was. Whoever she was with probably thought her insane.

 _Nah! Naru-chan just thinks I'm fun._

He had to release some tension. He was going insane. This wasn't sustainable! He couldn't think about _anything_ _else_ for any length of time.

And so, he waited until she fell asleep. He wasn't fooling her at all. She knew exactly what he was doing, but she shrugged it off. At least she wouldn't have to "watch".

She lay in bed not quite asleep, her satisfaction with herself pulsing through his form, which somehow only made her that much more alluring.

Eventually, she fell into slumber. And he had a moment of respite where he didn't have to filter his thoughts or feelings. Where she couldn't pounce on every errant fantasy and turn up the volume to eleven. He actually could breathe and relax.

It lasted all of five minutes.

Then he started overhearing her dreams. She was dreaming of _him_ – of all the things _he_ had been trying _not_ to think about all _goddamn_ _day_. He moaned. Kami-sama, it was nice to know she was not as unaffected as she pretended, but he needed a break!

Or a release.

And he definitely didn't need any material tonight to help him get there.

…

His relief was short-lived, as he woke up hard as ever. An ice-cold shower brought relief for the whole ten minutes he was in the water's frigid stream. But it came back almost immediately as he stepped into normal temperatures only too aware of Usagi going through her own morning routine.

 _Everything_ was a fucking turn on.

There were the obvious moments where he could almost forgive himself. The moment when her nightgown fell into a puddle at her ankles. Or when she pulled a lacy white bra out of the top drawer of her dresser. But even the smaller things – like her brushing her hair – untangling the golden tresses into a tamed organized waterfall – were enough to set him off. He swore it was because her hair was down. And she wasn't shy about the fact that she was ogling him through their link, either. Hell, he could _feel_ her teeth pressed down into her lower lip as if they were his own.

He somehow survived the drive to her front door, despite being distracted through every intersection and turn.

She tore open the car door, but instead of settling into the seat like she normally did, her knees fell to the passenger seat and she leaned across the center console, firmly placed both hands on either side of his face, and pulled him into a kiss. Her lips felt like soft velvet, but warm, like a blanket fresh from the dryer.

He gasped on the spot, his lips parting.

She didn't need a second invitation.

He was drowning in the sweet taste of the strawberry syrup she had poured on her pancakes that morning.

"Do you want to have sex?" she demanded breathlessly, as she pulled back just an inch. Her compelling eyes and flushed face filling his entire field of vision.

"Is that a trick question?"

"I'm serious, Mamo-chan. I can't take this. Sex is all either of us can think about. And I can't get anything done! And my standards for productivity aren't that high!"

"Usako, no," he objected, pushing her back into her seat. "If we're going to do this. I want it to be for the right reasons, and with a clear head. Not just giving into hormonal urges."

"What is so bad about giving into hormonal urges? Live a little, Mamo-chan!" she argued.

But he wasn't going to budge. Not on this. It would be her first time.

 _It would be yours too! It's a stupid double standard!_

 _But it could hurt you._

 _Well, I can't do this anymore._ She tore out of the vehicle as fast as she had come in moments prior.

 _What?_

 _You're driving me crazy. You need to go home, you need to jack off, and you need to do it now._

 _But…_

 _Hell, maybe I do too…_

"Usako…" he groaned, feeling even more turned on than he had with her tongue down his throat.

She darted back inside. And of course, she made it into the comfort and privacy of her own room within moments.

He was so fucking screwed.

 _You could come up and join me. The window is open._

He thumped his head on the steering wheel and whimpered.

…

Usagi had taken to masturbating every morning. Mamoru was still being prudish, in her mind, but at least his thoughts weren't quite as raging as they had been. He could feel her get there too. Sometimes he gave in as well. It definitely helped take the edge off through the rest of the day for both of them.

She was still so mad that he wouldn't just let the hook up happen. He clearly wanted to. She wanted to. There was no doubt at all between the two of them that she could sense. And it wasn't like being able to feel one another as they brought themselves to orgasm was not just as intimate as engaging in the act together would be.

Not to mention, she was willing to admit that she was just a little bit (try, a _lot_ ) curious what it would be like when you could feel the other person in your head. Another thought that could send Mamoru into a raging blush, which she smirked about.

If only he didn't have some stupid macho ideal in his head about being a gentleman and not taking advantage, as if she wasn't capable of making her own fucking decisions. But he was convinced that it was his own libido that was affecting her. And they couldn't be sure that it was actually consensual.

How did he even _function_ like this? He was going to drive her to fucking madness.

Literally.

She was going to have to break him.

 _You've already succeeded._

 _Not yet. Hopefully soon._

…

Motoki wiped down the newly vacated seat next to Mamoru. Motoki eyed his friend strangely. Mamoru was reading, or pretending to, because he had been on the same page for the last fifteen minutes.

"You okay?"

Mamoru jumped. And wide cobalt eyes turned toward him like a deer in headlights.

"M-Motoki-kun! Good to see you! How's your day going?" Mamoru stuttered.

Motoki raised a blond eyebrow. "Not much has changed in the last hour since you got here and asked before..."

"R-right... hope your shift wraps up smoothly." Mamoru's gaze fell back into his textbook, but his eyes were unfocused.

"Are you okay? Motoki asked again.

"Never better!" Mamoru replied quickly. Something was definitely off.

"Where's Usagi-Chan?"

"U-Usagi-chan?" Mamoru repeated. "Why would I know where Usagi is?"

Motoki delivered a flat look. God, the girls were right. He was so lost on this girl. Had Mamoru even noticed that he had dropped the honorific?

"You're practically joined at the hip these days," the part-timer observed.

"She's at... home," Mamoru admitted.

"What's she doing at home?" Motoki asked. Usagi spent most of her afternoons after school at the arcade or with the girls. It was unusual for her to go home before dinner.

"How the hell would I know what Usagi does in the privacy of her own home?! What do you take me for?"

"Woah! Calm down! I only meant that Usagi is usually here or out and about having fun. I thought maybe she was grounded."

"R-right," Mamoru stammered.

"You sure everything's okay?"

"Uh huh," Mamoru said through gritted teeth, turning his attention into the dining room. "She's just driving me crazy."

Motoki turned to follow Mamoru's line of sight. "Who is?"

"Usagi!" He was almost growling.

"What did she do this time?"

Hands clenched into his hair. "She... ugh! I can't handle this! I have to go! See you later, Motoki-kun."

He grabbed his coat and bolted.

"What the hell was that about?" Motoki asked the now empty stool.

…

 **A/N:** This is rated T. I'm not going further than this for this story. (Honestly, only because if I add a legit sex scene it'll take me a year to post this chapter because sex scenes are HARD to write!

I want you to know I wrote this the way I did, _not_ because boys have uncontrollable urges, and girls are teases. Because I find those stereotypes to be bullshit (and anger inducing). I wrote it this way because I read Mamoru as more repressed. And Usagi as more free and sexually open. I actually think in this situation it is affecting both of them. They are both turned on. And that makes it spiral and it builds and builds. Like he thought about it which makes her think about it and that's a turn on and it's a vicious positive feedback loop, especially when no one is doing anything to relieve such build up. Mamoru is embarrassed and tries to fight it, whereas Usagi embraces it.

Anyway, you can actually interpret it however you want (including what does or does not happen next - I will not be addressing it in the next chapter). Like seriously, go with whatever resonates with you (I definitely have my own opinion on the matter). I just wanted to make my intentions clear.

I think how they see each other and relate to each other sexually is a big part of a romantic relationship (though not the only part) so it was important for me to explore this theme in a mind reading trope context. Though special shout out to FloraOne, whose influence on me over the last few years, has made me no doubt more willing, and even inspired, to get over my shame and explore these types of themes in a positive way.

Reviews are love!


	6. Superimposed

**A/N:** I know it's been awhile. I appreciate your patience with my slow updates! I struggled with this chapter a lot, but hopefully that doesn't show! Please Enjoy.

 **Chapter 6: Superimposed**

In Usagi's mind, the best thing about summer break was getting to sleep in every morning. Even Mamoru didn't give her any grief about it over the school holiday. But on this particular morning, Usagi couldn't sleep in. She wasn't comfortable no matter which way she turned. And there were birds flitting about on the tree outside her window, chirping noisily. On one of her precious days off. Before seven in the fucking morning. Even _Mamoru_ was still in bed! She wanted to throw rocks at the nest forming in the branches hanging over her window.

Having no rocks on hand, the teenager stumbled her way to the bathroom, only to discover the door locked, her brother inside.

"Ugh! Hurry up, Shingo!" she growled through the door.

Several seconds passed. And then more time, still without a sound from the other side of the wooden barricade. Her blood boiled in agitation. He didn't even acknowledge her presence!

She kicked the door. Hard.

She hadn't expected her foot to go through it. The white surface had caved in completely, revealing the splintered wood underneath. But the damage did almost nothing to cool her temper.

"Kami-sama, Usagi-baka!" Shingo cursed, his voice echoing off the tiled walls. "What the hell? You scared the crap out of me!"

"Well good!" she snapped back. "That means you should be finished! So, get out!" She punctuated her words with another blow to the door.

"Usagi!" Her mother screeched, her voice cracking as she hurried up the stairs. "What on this earth has gotten into you?"

Usagi froze. Only in that moment did she become aware of the unbridled rage pumping through her veins. With no discernable reason for it. Mamoru appeared to still be in bed, though he was definitely awake.

 _What is going on?_

 _Not now, Usako._

The turbulent emotions didn't fade, but he offered no explanation.

"I don't know what overcame me!" Usagi apologized, hanging her head low. "I'm so sorry, mama!"

Ikuko crouched down to examine the damage. "Is your foot okay?" she asked.

"It's fine."

Shingo came out at that moment looking beyond steamed.

"I'm so sorry, Shingo-kun," Usagi brushed passed him without another word and closed the door on both her mother and brother. She turned the faucet on and splashed cold water on her face, hoping to shock the rage out of her system.

It didn't help.

She did her business and whipped back to her room. Her mother followed on her heels, her arms crossed disapprovingly.

Usagi dressed in a hurry, not worried about her maternal audience.

"Where are you going, Usagi?" her mother asked.

"Out!"

Her mother stared at her, her blue eyes flat with impatience. "You need to adjust your attitude this morning, young lady, or you are not going anywhere."

Usagi released a heavy sigh and prayed for self control. "I'm sorry, mama! I don't know what's come over me today. But in this moment, I'm really wound up. I _need_ to leave before I break something else. I need to go outside, breathe some air, and maybe go for a run. I'm _really_ sorry about the door. I _will_ help fix it or save allowance to pay for it. I promise."

 _Maybe you can pay for it._

"I want you home in time for dinner."

Usagi nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She tore down the stairs, threw on her shoes, and ran out the door.

 _This is not healthy. Tell me what is wrong._

Walls of equations and three dimensional graphs flooded her mind's eye, made all the worse by the fact that she understood half of it.

She literally growled in response, getting a strange look from passersby. She glared back until they looked away.

 _Haven't we established that we have no privacy? Please tell me why I feel this way!_

It was _his_ argument! The exact same one he had used on her like a week ago. It should've worked. But he continued seething in his bed, shooting only indefinable anger and almost decipherable math at her.

Part of her wanted to go straight to Mamoru's fancy apartment and beat the truth out of him, but the arcade was closer. Maybe she could collect some intel.

 _This is none of your business._

 _It is my business if it's making me feel this way!_

She stepped into the arcade and made a beeline for Motoki. Thank god he was working today.

"What is up with Mamoru today?" she asked without preamble. Her skin was crawling like an angry ant colony had been set loose on her body. "He's raging!" She rubbed her hands up and down her arms soothingly, trying to keep from screaming her rage to the world. How did he deal with this at all?

Motoki glanced up at a calendar.

"Did you run into him? He's in no shape to be around people today. He usually stays home."

"Yeah, no kidding!" she snapped. "So, what's got him all worked up?"

"It's his birthday."

Usagi stared at her friend like he was speaking another language. His _birthday_?

"Why would his birthday make him so upset?"

 _If this was a predictable event, some warning would have been nice!_

"That's not really my story to tell," Motoki told her gently.

Usagi sighed impatiently.

 _Why does your birthday upset you so much?_

He tried to block her out with more equations, but there had been a flash between a differential equation that modeled a pendulum and a three dimensional trace of a theoretical fourth dimensional object. Kami-sama, she had better be able to forget all this dry bullshit math once Ami figured out how to separate them. Otherwise she would kill him.

A flash of a memory.

Of sitting in the back of a car as it swerved over the edge of a cliff.

"Oh… Gotta run, Motoki-oniisan! Thanks!"

She stopped by a florist shop and bought some roses. She kept as tight-lipped as possible during every interaction. She couldn't even smile at the employees – not when she felt like this. Kami-sama, no wonder he kept a tight lid on expressing anything. She could kill someone feeling like this. Even innocent little mommy birds who were trying to build a nest for their eggs.

She made it to his door in record time.

 _Go away._

 _No chance in hell. Come out here right now!_

He didn't move. He remained in bed with the lights out and the curtains pulled closed.

She banged the bottom of her fists against the wall between them.

 _Mamoru!_

She had half a mind to transform and break the door down.

Her mind flashed to his doormat. She flipped it over and pulled out an extra key that was hidden in a secret pocket sewn into the bottom of the mat.

She snorted. He really was prepared for anything. The dork.

 _I can hear you._

 _Good!_

She walked into Mamoru's apartment like she lived there. After taking off her shoes, she deposited the flowers on his kitchen table and marched straight into the bedroom. She flipped on the bedroom light, and he cringed at the sudden brightness.

"Go away! I don't want you here," he growled as menacingly as a lion.

 _You've never encountered a lion._

 _Not the point._

"But you do," she countered softly, but just as firmly. She tore through his drawers and closet unerringly as if she had organized the wardrobe herself, pulling out briefs, a pair of pressed dress slacks from their hanger, and a button up white dress shirt.

"Don't tell me what I feel."

"Then _stop_ feeling it in _my_ head!" she snapped.

He glared at her, his dark cobalt eyes as sharp and foreboding as mountain peaks on the horizon.

"No one wants to feel like this alone," she offered gently as she laid the clothing ensemble at the foot of his bed.

 _You don't deserve this._

 _You can't hide from me._

She eased down onto the mattress beside him. She turned his face to hers. She stroked the side of his face with one hand, trying to offer the comfort of her presence. His face remained impassive, his eyes were hard, and his jaw locked shut.

 _I'm glad you're here._

 _I know._

"You're going to get up and you're going to get dressed right now," she ordered, her voice hard. She did not smile. Her normal patience and understanding were nowhere to be found, trapped as she was in his self-loathing and grief. "Five minutes."

He didn't need to imagine what she would do if he failed to comply.

She stood up swiftly and made her way to his kitchen. She immediately set to the task of making coffee, acting on Mamoru auto-pilot.

She poured him a cup and added a spoonful of sugar. Just as it was ready, she held it out for him as he entered the room. She waited patiently for him to drink it. The second he had drained the last of the cup, she tossed him his car keys.

 _I don't want to go._

 _But you need to._

He followed her sullenly out the door and down to the garage.

He drove to their destination.

No words were exchanged since she had told him to get dressed.

Upon their arrival he turned off the car and froze in his seat.

She squeezed his hand briefly, pulled up the flowers from the backseat, and exited the vehicle, stepping into the quiet summer late morning. The sky was picturesque. And she just waited, leaning against the vehicle.

He eventually followed her out. She adjusted his cufflinks and brushed imaginary lint off his shoulders like an overattentive mother before offering him her hand.

He clutched it like a lifeline and she led him through row upon row of family monuments scattered across the Buddhist Temple grounds.

She led him to the family gravesite, laying the flowers down with such care, wishing she had had a bit more time to find some incense. He fell to his knees in front of the family tomb. He hadn't been able to bring himself to actually visit it since he had left the orphanage.

She kneeled down in front of him and cupped the side of his face in one hand.

"You need to let this out," she encouraged gently. "You need to talk, or cry, or _something_."

"What is there to say?" he croaked. He looked past her to the white family marking, unable to meet her compassionate gaze. Normally, he would have dismissed such advice, but with her reasoning spiraling through the back of his head, it was harder to ignore.

"You feel their death is your fault," she prompted.

 _The dark sky stormed. The car lost traction on the wet road, tore though the railing, and right over the cliff's edge._

 _For a moment, he felt weightless._

"We were out for my birthday," he whispered, his hands falling to his sides.

In the present day, the sky was blue - as clear as a glass of water. Birds chirped distantly in a nearby tree.

"You feel guilty for other reasons."

"That I can't remember more than snippets of them."

She let the tears he wanted to shed – the grief he had bottled up for so long – stream freely from her own eyes.

"God, don't cry, Usako," his fingers were on her cheeks.

"I'm not crying," she told him, her voice hoarse. "You are."

She could speak through his lips, he could control her hands. And apparently, he could cry through her form. He had forgotten how to do it himself.

She opened herself to him, and he was quickly in her arms as he was in her head. Her grip around him tightened as if she could protect him from the emotional storm upon him. She felt the dam break, and his second wave of grief hit her like a tsunami. She physically stumbled a bit, but she didn't fall. Soon, Mamoru was actually crying from his own eyes.

Crying for his loss, yes. But also crying for himself, for the life he never had and for the life he couldn't remember.

 _How do I ever say thank you?_

 _Introduce me._

 _Introduce you?_

 _To your parents_.

 _Don't be ridiculous. They are gone. They can't hear us._

 _If they're gone, what does it matter?_

 _I feel silly._

 _Good._

"This is Tsukino Usagi," he began with a humorous lilt to his voice, his fingers threading through her own as he pulled her forward to the name carving. "She is responsible for single handedly turning everything in my life completely upside down."

"Hey!" she objected with a poke into his side, but she was laughing. And he was smiling.

"She may also be the best thing in my life," he whispered, brushing a kiss against the back of her hand that he had never relinquished.

 _You are, too._

 _What?_

 _The best thing in my life._

…

School had started up again, and Mamoru was grateful to be back into a routine. The only downside was he and Usagi didn't get to spend nearly as much time together. The headaches had returned with a vengeance. And apart from that, he missed her.

 _Aww! I miss you too._

He walked passed a conbini.

 _Kami-sama, what I wouldn't give for a mochi roll cake right now._

It was the third conbini on his route to the library. Pre Usagi mind-meld, he had never really noticed them before. Sure, he knew they were there, and had visited when in need of a quick bite between errands or a midnight study snack, but now… now the convenience stores called to him the way a light attracted a gnat.

Had he ever even _tried_ a mochi roll before? He couldn't remember ever having one.

But man, he really wanted one now.

Whether he had or not didn't matter. He could recall the fluffy light cake giving way to the sweetest and smoothest of cream as teeth sliced through the sweet confection. But he was going to resist. It's not like eating one would soothe the craving anyway, since it was Usagi's.

He felt a surge of disappointment so strong it startled him.

 _What_ ' _s wrong?_

Usagi's teacher had returned their history exams. She had earned a sixty-five.

 _Are you disappointed in me?_

 _Never._

 _So that means, I'm disappointed in me._

 _You've done far worse before._

 _Yeah... I guess I'm not used to it anymore. Though I suppose my latest trend of academic achievement is not really real anyway._

Mamoru didn't know what to offer in comfort. He couldn't lie and say she would've done just as well this semester without him. They both knew that wasn't the case. He wanted to say it didn't matter. That Usagi had other gifts to offer the world. But she knew he would have been horrified if he had received that score himself.

He just didn't feel like enough. He was never going to be enough.

Or maybe, _she_ didn't feel like enough.

Frustration buzzed along his skin as he stepped through the automatic sliding doors in front of him without thought.

 _I don't understand. I thought you didn't care about school._

 _I don't really? But I guess it's still nice to do well. To be told you're capable instead of useless. To have people believe that you have some value to contribute rather than to be thought of as ditzy, unreliable, and a total screw up._

 _What are you talking about? You're amazing!_

 _You're biased._

 _I know you better than anyone at this point._

Mamoru navigated the aisles unerringly towards his desired purchase. Third shelf from the ground, right next to the sakusaku pandas.

 _Like I said, biased._

 _Ask the girls._

If anything, the feelings of unworthiness grew in the pit of his stomach like a nest of writhing snakes. Brick walls rapidly formed in his mind's eye. She was trying to push him out.

 _What did I do wrong?_

The mental walls instantly crumbled.

 _You're trying to make me feel better, which I appreciate, but it just feels like you don't believe me._

 _What do you mean?_

 _That you don't believe that others see me as a screw up._

 _The girls do not see you as a screw up!_

 _They don't trust me._

He paid for his snack at the register before stepping back onto the crowded sidewalk.

 _What are you talking about? You're their leader._

 _In name only. I am someone they protect._

 _Because they love you._

 _Yes, they love me, but they don't trust me. They second guess my decisions and dismiss my ideas. They trust in my raw power, but they don't trust me._

He didn't need her to explain. He had access to her memories. How many times had Rei specifically excluded Usagi from things just because they were what Usagi wanted to do, or suggested that the senshi of Mars should be the one in charge? How many times had Ami gotten exasperated when Usagi got distracted during a meeting or used the communicator for frivolous reasons? How many times had Minako taken a hit or not let Usagi participate in something because she might maybe possibly get hurt? Makoto was the only one Usagi felt was always in her corner.

 _Of course I believe you. I just also think it's more complicated than that._

Because he had _also_ witnessed the raw faith they held in her when she wasn't looking.

He really needed to study. He had been heading to the library before his impromptu snack run, but he took a detour.

 _Have you ever talked about this with them?_

 _No._

 _Maybe you should._

 _I'm not sure it would go over well._

 _I'll go with you._

She walked out of her school gates, and he was already there waiting for her. Her eyes landed on him. Her slumped shoulders perked up and a smile bloomed across her face. She walked to him with a new spring in her step, warmth spreading across their mental bond.

How _'d you sneak up on me?_

 _I wasn't trying to be stealthy. I think you were just distracted._

He handed her the mochi roll she had been craving all day.

"Oh my god!" She squealed as she took the sweet treat from him. "I've been wanting one of these all day!"

He chuckled. "Trust me; I know!"

She bit into it. "Kami-sama, I love you so much," she gushed through the mouthful of cream filled cake.

They both froze. She stopped mid chew and her swirling blue eyes locked his in place.

 _That's so lame._

 _Lame?_

"It's okay; I understand what you meant," he was quick to intercede. "It's just an expression."

"An expression?!" she snapped back. "Are you kidding me? I wish I could take it back!"

"So, you don't love me?" he asked, his gut twisting itself into knots. He felt like they were on the edge of a precipice and one false step would send them both careening over.

"I think I do," she admitted softly.

"You do," he repeated. It wasn't quite a question, but his voice held no confidence.

"This is just such a lame way to say it the first time." Her eyes shyly glanced up at him.

 _I love you._

She loved him.

 _Do I even know what love is?_

 _Do I even deserve to be loved?_

 _Stop it!_

 _Was that warm feeling every time those blue eyes strayed over their own love?_

The headache exploded like dull knives forced through flesh. Ten times more painful than it had ever been at its worst. He clutched his head. Or was it hers? He could see the road and the school behind them. The ground and the sky at the same time. His ears rang with a piercingly high frequency as if a flash grenade had exploded at their feet. He felt like he was being smothered like bodies being pressed together in a crowded subway car. He couldn't breathe.

 _Is it a youma?_

He pressed the panic button on his communicator.

Wait.

He didn't have a communicator.

Blackness overtook him.

…

Usagi and Mamoru woke up slowly, and simultaneously at the sound of low murmuring voices. They couldn't make out what was said. The words were too soft, but the voices were familiar, and they brought comfort. They tried to open their eyes, but the swimming overlapping images brought lancing pain, so they slammed them back shut again.

They peeked one eye open - one of Usagi's. Mamoru lay across from her, white gauze wrapped around his head with dozens of brightly colored wires coming out the top of his skull. It hurt to see him like that and yet, it was also fine.

 _It's not a bandage. It's just an imaging exam - probably an EEG._

They opened Mamoru's eyes and they blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the swimming double vision. Mamoru turned and confirmed Usagi was also hooked up to an EEG machine, only her wired leads were half buried in never ending strands of golden hair that was clumped up in sticky glue and wax.

 _It's going to take hours to clean that out. Maybe they needed a haircut._

 _No!_

"What happened?" their voices asked in unison. "Did a youma get us?"

Mizuno Ami-chan stood to their left, but also to their right?

 _She's between us._

And she was. Usagi's genius friend was looking at the monitors connected to both their skulls and occasionally tapping something out on her handheld Mercury computer.

"There was no youma. You started to merge," the bluenette explained. "But I think your minds lashed out at one another in self defense, which sent you both into a brief coma. You're not stable anymore. Your brain wave patterns are oscillating between being two distinct wave patterns and then momentarily becoming a single superposition of the two."

 _That explained some things._

They clutched their heads in mirrored movement.

"Stop that!" Minako shouted.

They started, turning toward the anxious senshi leader.

"Stop what?" they asked.

" _That_!" Minako cried. "Doing and saying everything at once!"

"They can't help it," Ami interjected. "They don't have distinct brain waves at the moment."

"If you can't fix this, will they be stuck doing and saying the exact same thing all the time?" Makoto asked gently.

They turned back to Ami, as eager for that answer as Usagi's other protectors.

"I can't say for sure, but I don't think so," Ami explained, her eyes on her tablet screen. "I think it'll become one mind with two bodies. Once they're cognitively adjusted it would settle out I think. Their motor cortex just needs practice in singling out a single limb or body."

"But it doesn't matter," she interrupted herself looking up at them. "My simulations this morning were successful. I was just waiting for you both to wake up. So I could get your consent."

"Our consent?"

"To separate your consciousness."

The rhythmic smooth brain wave pattern shattered into chaos on the display above their beds.

 _I'm just a burden to you._

 _You deserve better than me._

 _Will you still even like me when we aren't mind-linked?_

 _I've never been this close to anyone._

 _Can I even go back to before?_

 _This was the best thing that ever happened to me._

"Do we have to, Ami-chan?" Usagi managed to ask through the tangled mental spirals.

Her friend smiled knowingly. "See, I just wasn't sure you'd want to. You've grown so close lately." Ami pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "No, I don't have to do it. But I need you to understand, if you choose to keep things the way they are it won't be like these last few weeks. You won't be two separate entities that can communicate telepathically. You will become one consciousness with two bodies. And I won't be able to reverse it later because there won't be two distinct signals anymore."

The whole room was silent as the girls held their breath, waiting to see what their choice would be.

 _What do you want to do?_

"Can you give us a minute?" Mamoru requested.

"Certainly," Ami agreed. "I think we still have a day or two before the meld will be complete. So take your time."

The girls filed out, Ami the last one, slid the privacy door closed behind them.

Usagi carefully untangled the various leads and electrodes from the sides of her bed's railing and eased herself from her bed to her feet to his bed. She sat at the edge of the thin cot as he curled his torso around her. Their hands quickly found one another and threaded together.

 _It's essentially a lifetime commitment. Are you ready for that?_

"I think it's probably better we separate," Mamoru said out loud. "It wouldn't be fair to ask for a lifetime commitment right now."

 _I think the life commitment is less scary than losing you._

 _What do you mean? You want to stay linked?_

Tears welled in her eyes, but she shook her head no.

 _Ami said we wouldn't be ourselves anymore. No Usagi or Mamoru. We'd be some kind of UsaMamo mashup._

He smiled.

 _Is that a technical term?_

Her eyebrows furrowed and her forehead wrinkled.

 _It is now._

 _I don't want to lose this. But I don't want to lose you as a whole wonderful unique person either._

 _You won't. I'll be with you._

 _It won't be the same._

 _Maybe it'll be better?_

 _Nothing could be better than you._

Her free hand was cradling his face even as his twirled her golden hair between his fingers. He curled more into her as if trying to push them together.

But despite their closeness, she felt cold, and his face was pale. But she nodded anyway. It was the logical pragmatic choice. And it was the emotional self-sacrificing choice. There was no disagreement between them, even if it wasn't what either truly wanted.

They held hands as they rose from the bed to slide the door open.

"Ami-chan," they said in unison, "we're ready. We think you should separate our consciousnesses."

The grip between their interlaced fingers tightened.

…

 **A/N:**

In case you don't already know because I haven't told you enough times, TinaCentury is the absolute best!

Only one more chapter left! See you all next time!

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